Referred by a frien...
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Referred by a friend

New Member

A friend of mine recommended your site. Sadly it was sent anonymously so I don't know whom to thank. I thought it was a joke at first when I began to read your blogs however I quickly realized that they you actually believe the craziness that you suggest in your writing. I was hooked after one blog and moved on to another. After nearly ten blogs I began to understand that this isn't some weird fetish site, you are basing this on science. Pseudo science at times but we should be honest and say that sexuality and relationship satisfaction is studied far less than other topics. Seemingly a matter of priorities in our society. 

I showed my husband and he found it arousing. He is always willing to try something kinky and new in the bedroom so he was interested in trying your idea for locktober. If we are going to try locktober can you spell out instructions for someone very new to this? I ordered a metal cage from eBay that should arrive on Tuesday.

Topic starter Posted : 24/09/2021 11:05 am
Member Admin

I love this! Welcome to the site. My favorite thing about locktober is the new people that it brings to the site and to trying something new and exciting with your relationship. The journey of sex in a relationship is so much more than five minutes of foreplay and ten minutes of grunting and trusting. When all of that sexual energy can be bottled up and pressurized, it can be used to fuel a new and exciting relationship dynamic.

I also thank that anonymous friend, you know who you are. It sounds like your recommendation was well received so you can break the veil of anonymity if you feel like reaching out to Karsten.

I also received an anonymous message a few days about with a request for a how-to for locktober. Rather than respond to your comment directly, I'm going to work on a blog to address the topic. Everyone else is free to weigh in and I may add some of your insights to the upcoming blog which I will probably publish toward the middle of next week, shortly after you receive that fancy new ebay cage.

Welcome to the site! We are glad to have you.

Posted : 24/09/2021 12:07 pm
Eminent Member

This is great, first thought is that I'm a little jealous of going back to the exciting discovery you're experiencing.  May I offer one bit of advice on the next few months; stay ahead of him.  In awareness, knowledge, and control.  If you're well read (this site) and he is not, then everything that you think and do will be a surprise to him and truly your decision.  Probably too often based on the user base of this site and others is that the male gets pretty intrigued and dives right in.  When he knows, wants, asks, expects more than you're aware of it changes the dynamic and more management and communication is needed.  
Chastity is an exciting tool and leads well into a Female Led Relationship.  At first you'll feel the thrill of the Tease and Denial aspect and how empowering it is.  Since you'll have the advantage of control, you will assume leadership in some or many respects.  That responsibility just like in a job, is easier with knowledge and experience.  

As for your immediate ask of instructions, Emma has this blog in case you didn't bump into it yet:   
I suggest you mostly get him to figure out the comfort, checking on him lots but not too much teasing.  He won't be used to a constrained erection, you never really get used to it.  There's no such thing as too often to put some lotion around the base ring.  The most common irritation is when the ring does not slide on the skin but sticks, tacky to the ball skin.


(BTW, I sure wish I had the guts to anonymously sign someone up like this but I just can't do it, I have no idea why.)

Posted : 24/09/2021 2:40 pm
Member Admin

@karsten Here is that blog I promised 😉

@lockedforlynn I often forget how exciting it was to learn of chastity and the mind tricks that it plays on both of us. Your advice of relishing in the constant discovery is great. I wish I could happen upon something as sexually & relationshippally exciting but I don't think something exists. Don't judge my usage of relationshippally. It is my word and I like it.

Posted : 27/09/2021 7:17 pm