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spankandblow
(@spankandblow)
Active Member

You just warmed my data centric heart.  Thank you.

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Posted : 15/07/2019 8:41 pm
spinpole2001
(@spinpole2001)
Trusted Member
Posted by: @evolvingyourman_ivcr4j

Ages

Interesting stats on the sex and age dispersion. I totally get why some of the ladies may be a bit gun shy about posting though. I'm sure they have been trolled hard after posting even a non-controversial thing on a vanilla website. Its a shame what the net has become in that regard. That's one reason I'm enjoying the conversations here. Everyone has been very respectful. Kudos to Emma for keeping us in line lol

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Posted : 16/07/2019 4:02 am
Emma
 Emma
(@evolvingyourman_ivcr4j)
Member Admin

@spinpole2001

It is important to me as well, I've been on the receiving end as well and it is extremely frustrating especially when it comes to trying to understand the human motivation. There's nothing better than some guy hopping in the middle of a conversation with something as witty as "I'd do her" or something inspiring like that. It really keeps the conversation going.

The realities of male chastity are:

  • Very few guys want to be locked up without release for the rest of their lives.
  • Most women are interested because of the results and the control but the act isn't very titillating. 
  • Most women have never heard of male chastity.
  • Most women hear about male chastity from their partner.

Our society presents feminism as such a negative but it can be such a positive when it is truly about evening out our sexual dynamics. Would you even call that feminism? I don't know.

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Posted : 16/07/2019 2:32 pm
ljay24
(@ljay24)
New Member

I am in the same position as spinpole2001. I am learning a lot reading these posts and researching this subject. We'll see where it goes...!

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Posted : 16/07/2019 5:02 pm
spankandblow
(@spankandblow)
Active Member
Posted by: @evolvingyourman_ivcr4j

@spinpole2001

It is important to me as well, I've been on the receiving end as well and it is extremely frustrating especially when it comes to trying to understand the human motivation. There's nothing better than some guy hopping in the middle of a conversation with something as witty as "I'd do her" or something inspiring like that. It really keeps the conversation going.

The realities of male chastity are:

  • Very few guys want to be locked up without release for the rest of their lives.
  • Most women are interested because of the results and the control but the act isn't very titillating. 
  • Most women have never heard of male chastity.
  • Most women hear about male chastity from their partner.

Our society presents feminism as such a negative but it can be such a positive when it is truly about evening out our sexual dynamics. Would you even call that feminism? I don't know.

Emma, as always, you impress with your sober analysis of the topic which fascinates you.  I am not drawn to female dominant forums in general, but yours is attractive because it appeals to one's pragmatism.  You try to frame the discussion not in terms of one sex dominating another but whether being caged provides tangible benefits to both partners.

Just curious, why do you say most women don't find the act of locking men titillating?  I don't have any reason to dispute that, but I find it interesting that fewer women get off on controlling men.  I don't think there's any doubt that a good percentage of men get off on controlling women -- although, on this forum, I suspect many of the men are subs and would not personally enjoy controlling women.  

As far as feminism being presented as negative, I don't think the idea of women having the same rights (and responsibilities) as men is problematic at all.  My issue with the word feminism is how some advocates of that philosophy consider women to be superior to men and will use the power of the government to enforce that philosophy on society.  Replacing male chauvinism with female chauvinism doesn't strike me as an improvement.  It is one thing to imagine women as dominant in fantasy play -- that is hot.  It is another to try and use the power of government to enforce a gynocentric or androcentric worldview. 

Spank

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Posted : 16/07/2019 11:30 pm
Emma
 Emma
(@evolvingyourman_ivcr4j)
Member Admin
Posted by: @spankandblow

Just curious, why do you say most women don't find the act of locking men titillating?  

I actually do enjoy it and find that I've come to associate his lock with my pleasure. To lock him brings me pleasure but it wasn't always so. The physical act of locking him has grown to represent more. For him, the restraint is immediate. For me, any benefit is delayed by a few days. Other ladies that I've talked to see this as a tool and the tool itself brings very little arousal. With time, some of them relish the days to come in the moment that they lock him. 

As far as feminism being presented as negative, I don't think the idea of women having the same rights (and responsibilities) as men is problematic at all.  My issue with the word feminism is how some advocates of that philosophy consider women to be superior to men and will use the power of the government to enforce that philosophy on society.  Replacing male chauvinism with female chauvinism doesn't strike me as an improvement.  It is one thing to imagine women as dominant in fantasy play -- that is hot.  It is another to try and use the power of government to enforce a gynocentric or androcentric worldview. 

I'd agree that this has nothing to do with feminism, maybe female empowerment. To me and others, it is more than fetish play. To define chastity as such is to marginalize it and relegate it to the shadows of taboo forever. How would you define the changes that chastity has brought to your relationship? Orgasm control brings a new dynamic with it but I struggle to with a clear, concise term to define it.

This post was modified 1 year ago by Emma
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Posted : 17/07/2019 7:34 am
spankandblow
(@spankandblow)
Active Member
Posted by: @evolvingyourman_ivcr4j

I'd agree that this has nothing to do with feminism, maybe female empowerment. To me and others, it is more than fetish play. To define chastity as such is to marginalize it and relegate it to the shadows of taboo forever. How would you define the changes that chastity has brought to your relationship? Orgasm control brings a new dynamic with it but I struggle to with a clear, concise term to define it.

Whatever the benefits may be, it is great to watch you explore, experiment and inspire others to do likewise.  I envision future relationships being more experimental and less regimented.  In general, we need to keep expanding our horizons as humans to explore sexual pleasure with less guilt and judgment.  

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Posted : 17/07/2019 10:07 am
Emma liked
Emma
 Emma
(@evolvingyourman_ivcr4j)
Member Admin

I completely agree. I think religious stigma about sex and relationships has negatively framed our ability to enjoy each other.

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Posted : 18/07/2019 8:38 am
Tom Allen
(@tom-allen)
Active Member
Posted by: @evolvingyourman_ivcr4j

 I think one of the big problems is that a locked guy is left to dwell on his plight with little option for relief. Trolling a forum may sometimes be the only outlet.

I think that some guys aren't so much trolling, as they have these ideas fixed in their heads, and they respond to questions from a perspective of satisfying their *own* kinks, instead of looking at what the person is really asking. This is especially bad when new women ask questions on boards like "My husband wants me to lock him up. What do I do?" and they respond with things like "You need to dress him in panties and cuck him with a young hung stud." They immediately freak out, and associate chastity devices with more extreme scenarios, and probably won't look any more into it - or worse, wonder what kind of sick fantasies their husband is harboring. 

Actually, I've even seen those kinds of answers to new *men* in groups. It's not trolling, it's guys who are reading boards looking to satisfy their own fantasies. 

 

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Posted : 22/07/2019 7:04 am
Emma
 Emma
(@evolvingyourman_ivcr4j)
Member Admin

@tom-allen

Very interesting. I think you are probably correct. How do you think that chastity progresses from the kink of orgasm denial to the other extremes. Neither Kevin nor I are interested in panties or cuckold type scenarios although we have however talked about a poly situation if it presented itself. 

It makes me wonder why kinks progress such as they do? You are right, there is nothing that will stop a woman from her free flight down the tumblr rabbit hole more quickly than comments like that. 

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Posted : 22/07/2019 12:30 pm
Tom Allen
(@tom-allen)
Active Member

I'm really not sure how it happens, especially to the more extreme ones. It's obviously a progression, but I suspect that enough exposure will, if the person has the inclination, will eventually make something "click" that causes him to explore the idea more. 

For some reason, enforced chastity has become an adjunct for sissy play, humiliation play, and cuck play. I think that the men already have a kink for those things, and that chastity devices came in later. 

I've seen a Reddit group called Masculine Male Chastity, but after a few months it was overrun with guys posting their own locked up junk pics. :-\

 

 

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Posted : 22/07/2019 1:58 pm
Emma
 Emma
(@evolvingyourman_ivcr4j)
Member Admin

@tom-allen

I am not sure what I would expect from a group of that name. I think I would expect a bunch of body builder guys locked up. Masc usually implies gay, at least in my circles. To that note, I've received a couple emails from gay couples who find chastity just as useful in their relationships. Not so much for the lesbian couples. lol!

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Posted : 22/07/2019 5:31 pm
Tom Allen
(@tom-allen)
Active Member

Hah. The groups owner is a woman who set it up because she was tired of seeing pictures of men wearing cages and women's lingerie. I'm sure she was hoping for pics of body builders, but it devolved into just close up shots of locked up tonkers. 

 

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Posted : 24/07/2019 9:40 am
Emma and spinpole2001 liked
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