Suggestions if wife is not interested
Hello - My wife is not interested in FLR or male chastity, though doesn't care if I pursue it. I don't want to make her uncomfortable, so does anyone have suggestions for a husband who would like to be trained into gradually longer periods of locked chastity? keyholders perhaps? Any ideas would be appreciated
There are a couple of good books for very vanilla wives. Male Chastity for Modern Lovers and Locked in Love. Both are written so the wife can understand why the male wants to be locked up and how to do it in a loving, helpful way. If I was only going to read one, it would be Locked in Love. Women can benefit from it if done right and they play along.
I started as as stealth submissive. I desperately wanted to reconnect with my wife and to desire her the way I once did. I started doing more housework and treating her like the goddess I wanted her to be. I started cooking for her. Mostly low calorie vegetarian meals. She lost 20 lbs and became the beauty I remember. We spoke about my submission from time to time and I expressed how when I felt desire and served her, it gave me purpose and took away my anxiety. She hated the idea of sex being transactional and her being in control. She would hold my key if I wore a chastity cage but still has less dominance than I would like. Lately we have spent more time getting me excited and being denied. She has seen how a I am so attentive when I am horny. She enjoys it and understands now that I do to. She has come to see it as more of a mating dance. As young lovers I spent all my time trying to impress her and show her I was a good catch. I want that again. I will do it without her, but when she participates in my denial it's awesome. A few ruined ones but no full orgasms in a couple weeks. Last night she made me stop during piv sex. I got a ruined hand job and still feel huge attraction toward her today. Men thought with their penises for all of evolution. It's how we work. My wife also sees me get grumpy after an orgasm. I feel sexy all the time and treat her like I did as a 18 year old when I am horny. She loves the naked backrubs and foot rubs and brushing her long hair. It's all sex to me and it brings us so close. It's not perfect but we are so close now and she accepts my gift as true love. The cage is a gift for her, not you. The woman holds the keys to sex anyways. This is just symbolic of the power dynamic that has always existed. Trying to get her to understand that your service is about love and desire, not just love. The cage, denial, teasing, hands on stimulation, dressing sexy, being submissive and her roleplaying dominance is all part of it. But you can never push her. You are asking a lot, it's a paradigm shift. If she sees your dedication and loves you for it, she will give you some back. She got more comfortable with it slowly in my case. Not all at once just from reading a blog article. In the mean time, rub her body with oil, cook and clean for her, kiss her feet. Give her orgasms and then just hold her. Be submissive and revel in your desire. Surrender the toxic masculinity and be more in love with her than ever. If you want a goddess, treat her like one. Be honest and open about it.
I can't say that I fully understand the concept of chastity without an element of submission, role reversal or control shift. The benefits for Kev are when his subconscious mind accepts that he does not have control of his penis or his orgasms. If someone locked themselves I don't know that they would be able to reach that subconscious place. I can see a cage as a wonderfully secret reminder of affection and connection between the two partners.
Can anyone shed some light on the benefits they see from self locking? Is it simply like wearing a piece of jewelry or is it something more?
as someone periodically self locking at times when I am at greatest risk of masturbation, the only benefit I can see is just that - it provides a physical barrier to stop the initial pangs of arousal leading to senseless fondling, leading to that point of no return where you decide or your body decides to go all the way to climax.
And the benefit of that is the extent to which your reduced self-pleasure is reflected in increased sexual energy for your partner.
Though I can’t quite see William how your desire to increase length of lock up time fits into your intimate relationship where chastity is not something your wife wants anything to do with.
it sounds like if you want her to ever come round to the idea you have to play a really long game and show her the benefits to her when you are in chastity versus not. I imagine this is probably hard to do without consciously being a worse husband out of chastity in the hope she is convinced of the benefits when you’re in.
Best of luck
chastity does not have to involve the submissive and submissive man. he just can no longer jerk himself off and pacify himself or himself. the woman has control that sex is only possible for him with one another.
his gift out of love for the relationship does not make him submissive.