I made a list of cuckold tendencies for the men and got several requests to come up with a version for the ladies. My men’s list explored why a husband might enjoy seeing his wife admired, desired, and calling the shots. This time, we’re talking about what’s in it for the ladies. Not what you’ll tolerate or what you’ll do to keep him happy. This is about what makes you smile, blush, or think, “Well, that sounds delicious.” Maybe you enjoy attention. Maybe you like taking charge. Maybe watching your husband get adorably flustered while you chat up another man sounds like an excellent evening. Maybe a little affectionate humiliation appeals to you, too. For this list, that means teasing he genuinely welcomes and nothing cruel.
When The Spark Is Quieter
You can find your husband attractive, love him deeply, and still notice that the “God, I want to jump his bones” feeling doesn’t show up like it did when you first got together. You look at him and see your favorite person. Your shared life. A man you want beside you. But that immediate, uninvited rush of desire? Maybe it is gone and maybe it has been gone for a while. Sorry ladies, that is just how many of us are wired. But then a man at the bar catches your eye, holds your gaze a little longer than necessary, and suddenly your body has something to say. Oh. Hello. I’m your body & apparently that part of me is still very much awake.
I’m talking about spontaneous desire, and not whether you find your husband attractive, and not whether you can enjoy intimacy with him. I don’t feel an instant urge to fuck you every time I look at you isn’t the same statement as I don’t want you. Many men can’t see past this because their desire doesn’t work the same way. For a woman who understands her own body and recognizes the contrast of her own arousal, the idea of a modern marriage dynamic might feel intriguing. Instead of treating outside chemistry as something you must either suppress or secretly pursue, you might enjoy bringing new energy into your marriage.
You might say “I liked the way he looked at me.”
And perhaps your husband might smile and say, “I noticed.”
How fucking hot is that? Right?
Now that little spark becomes something you’re sharing together. You get to enjoy feeling desired and he gets to discover what lights you up even though it might not be him at that given moment. Maybe you even give him a playful, “Look at you getting flustered over your own wife.” What appeals to me is the possibility of making that energy a point of connection and not a weapon, or proof that your husband is somehow a failure. You’re not asking him to become the stranger at the bar. You’re exploring whether the chemistry you noticed could become part of your own flirtation together.
It won’t appeal to everyone, and it isn’t a fix for relationship problems. You might enjoy discussing the fantasy and want nothing beyond that. You might not enjoy it at all. That’s exactly what this list is for, noticing the emotions it sparks in both of you while you are being admired, taking the lead, watching him blush, sharing tension together. Just a invitation to explore what makes you feel alive, and whether you’d enjoy sharing that discovery with him.
You Might Find a Cuckold Relationship Appealing If…
- You enjoy catching another man looking & letting your husband catch you enjoying it.
- Your wedding ring feels like a commitment but not an instruction to stop being desirable.
- You like telling your husband, “He was flirting with me,” and watching him squirm with discomfort.
- Being admired makes you feel excited and confident rather than guilty.
- You’d rather celebrate your appeal than make yourself smaller to protect your husband’s ego.
- You enjoy choosing an outfit that will give you attention rather than the one that will make your husband feel comfortable.
- His approving smile makes outside attention even more fun.
- You like being the woman people notice, not merely your husband’s plus one.
- You enjoy hearing him admit that another man’s interest in you turns him on.
- “Did you like watching that?” sounds like a question you’d enjoy asking slowly.
- You find his blush adorable and sometimes worth provoking on purpose.
- You enjoy saying, “Use your words, darling,” when he gets shy about what he wants.
- A playful “Someone’s looking a bit flustered” feels more like flirtation than criticism.
- You like making him ask nicely for the next detail in a story.
- You enjoy being the composed one while he’s visibly distracted.
- You’d find it amusing to tease him about how much he adores you, and your teasing makes him adore you more.
- You like the idea of him admitting that he enjoyed the attention you received.
- You enjoy a little agreed-upon embarrassment, followed by affection rather than actual shame.
- You’d happily say, “You’re being very cute about this,” while knowing he’d rather look impressively unbothered.
- You like affectionate teasing that leaves him feeling exposed, wanted, and understood—not worthless.
- You enjoy taking the lead without apologizing for having preferences.
- “What would you like?” is more attractive than actually knowing.
- You want to choose the pace, not get swept along by his enthusiasm.
- His willing submission interests you more than a performance of possessiveness.
- You like being able to say, “That’s your fantasy. Let’s talk about mine.”
- You wear a bikini for the attention you know that your body will get.
- You find it exciting when he supports your pleasure without trying to direct every detail.
- You’d rather express what you want than pretend to be endlessly modest about it.
- You like the contrast between being his cherished wife and his delightfully intimidating crush.
- You want your confidence celebrated as a way to keep your autonomy important in your marriage.
- Sometimes another man’s desire for you is more of a turn on than your husband’s desire.
- Different chemistry intrigues you without making your husband disposable.
- You’d want an outside attraction to reflect your taste, not merely his preferred scenario.
- You like the thought of being pursued while your husband knows exactly how pleased you are.
- You enjoy the idea of being on a date with another man and your husband watching you flirt.
- You find the idea of your husband having a slight pain of jealousy arousing.
- You’d enjoy choosing which details to share instead of owing him a complete report.
- You want any outside partner treated as a person, not an accessory to your husband’s fantasy.
- You’re interested in making your own pleasure a priority regardless of your relationship status.
- You could enjoy the whole thing as fantasy and feel no need to make it real.
- You find the idea of being shared arousing because you want it, not because he craves it.
- You can enjoy being in charge while still caring about his feelings and making him feel prioritized.
- You want teasing to stop when either of you stops enjoying it.
- You know that you are capable of balancing the attention of a new man with your husband’s emotions.
- You are capable of regularly checking in with your husband rather than getting lost in the moment.
- You enjoy reassuring your husband and the fact that he seeks reassurance makes you feel in control.
- You want to deepen the connection with your husband and are genuinely not looking for an escape plan.
- You feel safe enough in your relationship to say no any time without being accused of ruining the fantasy.
- You’d still respect his “no,” from your husband just as you expect him to respect yours.
- You’re interested because something about it appeals to you and its high time you gave your desire a voice.
The Mystery Is Half the Fun
Depending on what we’re wearing, men can get a fairly good idea of our curves. Meanwhile, we’re looking at a handsome man across the bar with considerably less information so we resort to our imagination.
“What’s under there?”
“What would kissing him feel like?”
“Is he slow and attentive, confidently passionate, or dominant and a little rough?”
His clothes aren’t going to answer those questions. Neither is that lovely smile, although it certainly isn’t helping me think about anything else. His confidence might give some clues but sometimes the mystery is part of the arousal. Not knowing leaves room to imagine, and imagining can absolutely delicious. In a modern marriage dynamic, you might enjoy sharing a little of that curiosity with your husband
“I wonder what he’s packing.”
“Do you think he’s bigger than you?”
“I wonder what his story is…”
Then watch as the delicious part of your husband’s imagination starts running just as wild as yours.
A Little Humiliation & A Lot of Agency
For the version of the relationship that I’m describing, the difference is simple. You are teasing a husband who enjoys being teased. “Look at you, blushing because someone flirted with your wife.” That’s a very different proposition from attacking his value as a husband or using something painful against him. Do you enjoy seeing him afraid of losing you? Does that vulnerability turn you on? Is he a generally confident man… and do you enjoy seeing that confidence crack if even just for a moment? Does the idea if testing the boundaries of monogamy in a way that you both feel safe appeal to you?
I like the idea of a woman who can be provocative without being careless. Confident enough to lead, attentive enough to notice his response, and secure enough to stay connected to him. You don’t have to become cruel in your teasing and you don’t have to involve another man to support your husband’s fantasy. Sometimes the best teasing comes from a place of honesty, no babe, I don’t want to jump in bed with you right now but just looking at that guy turns me on. Sometimes you can use other people to fuel your arousal without ever including them in your marriage equation.
Remember that you don’t have to perform somebody else’s version of empowerment to feel empowered. Maybe your version is flirting with another man and asking your husband with a raised eyebrow and a whisper, “You liked that, didn’t you?” Maybe that’s plenty or maybe you want to consider more. Whatever that may be, the choice is yours.
Evolving the Conversation
- Which of these made you smile and which made you pause?
- Does being admired and empowered appeal to you more than watching your husband react?
- What kind of teasing would feel delicious rather than hurtful?
- What would you want to choose for yourself instead of following his fantasy?
- Would you enjoy this as playful conversation, shared fantasy, or something you might discuss exploring?
“Would you enjoy this as playful conversation, shared fantasy, or something you might discuss exploring?”
We would fall in to the classic “Where do you want to go for dinner?” dynamic for us. The going around the merry-go-round stereotype that has been the source of jokes the past 100 years where the woman either can’t or doesn’t want to make a decision and the man will not make the choice because he knows that she actually has a preference but will not say. Her friend told me that she is very much into the idea of playing with a cuckolding dynamic but that she will never be the one who wants or asks for it. That I have to tell her outright that it is something I want and thus she has the permission to go with it. I go back and forth with it but ultimately would not do that for the many reasons you have written about on this blog, and I think she would need to make a choice about it. She is very much a scaredy cat in general, she won’t even drive on the highway, so the idea of meeting random strangers is off the table. Her friend told me that it would have to be her establishing male friends first, sort of like how we met and then go from there. She has questions about how it all works. I remember she asked, what if he wants to introduce me to his friend/family as his girlfriend? What if he invites me over to his family’s house for holidays? She finds the more nonsexual aspects of it hotter than the physical acts. The relationship dynamics and such. She had said that she finds a bull claiming her as his girlfriend in front of people really hot and she joked about us all going out with her and her boyfriend with me in her group of friends (me being a friend in this scenario). I just let her mind wonder. She loves the teasing and humiliation stuff more than any actual sex.
For the first time, I can clearly picture what you meant by her “enjoy catching another man looking”, the flirting thing and the spark of novelty.
Back in college, I saw this happen time and again with girls who were dating guys from a distant city, which kept the guys from showing up at parties very often. Even if they had no intention of cheating, they enjoyed it when other guys hit on them.
They flutter their eyelashes, swipes their hair back confidently, flash that ambiguous almost mischievous smile, and say, “I’m not going to hook up with you because I have a boyfriend” (and not because I DON’T want to hook up with you).
Some of them enjoyed dancing near that guy to keep him hooked, perhaps letting him believe that if he asks at the right moment, or uses the right approach, he might stand a chance of being the exception to her rule.
Don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying women are cruel or dishonest. My point is that the attention other guys give her can be healthy and a real ego boost when it comes from a hot guy, even though many women aren’t willing to admit they enjoy receiving it.
I think men would benefit from that kind of thing now and then, too, but on our end, it’s very rare for women to take the initiative so directly and expose themselves to potential rejection the way guys do.
I can’t speak for other guys, but even when a gay man makes a move on me—even if I have absolutely no desire to hook up with him—there’s still a nice feeling of validation, knowing I’m seen as hot (at least to that other guy, haha)
FOR THE WOMEN:
Contradictory messages regarding penis size cause much confusion. i.e. I read posts here such as: The biggest dick gets the_____, My husband is too small. Size matters. I need something bigger etc. However – go on you tube and inquire about this, and over 75% of women say “size doesn’t matter”
– And women wonder why men get confused??
Perhaps you are overcomplicating things. “Women” make up a large group, so we cannot make a statement that applies 100% to everyone. For some, yes, size does matter and the bigger, the better. For others, it doesn’t.
But going beyond the obvious (since you mention “posts here” and “go on YouTube”) there is a strong cultural factor at play, isn’t there?
1. It is generally less common to see a woman openly discuss what she likes in a man’s physique compared to a man talking about a woman’s body.
2. The audience on sites like this, given the topics discussed, tends to consist of people with a more open-minded approach to sexuality in general; consequently, the women there speak more confidently about these subjects… and have likely already asked themselves why they like what they like.
3. To a lesser extent, anonymity encourages people to speak about taboo subjects without beating around the bush.
Number one I’m not into this lifestyle sometimes in my algorithm because I look this stuff up my buddies a clinical psychologist that’s world-renowned in New York City told me about this. I didn’t believe it so I looked it up a while back, and sometimes this stuff shows up on my thread in Google, which I regret clicking on it because now it’s gonna show up my algorithm again tomorrow either way I will say this about this lifestyle. The psychology of it is fascinating into me at the very least anybody on this thread and anybody that cares to we would have to say there’s a reason that you’re into this shit I would say the majority of you men have been cheated on my buddy a clinical psychologist swears by it. says he has one client that fought overseas and that’s a release for him to be in Wife sharing not so much this lifestyle but also as kind of come out against it and say we’re not really dealing with the man’s issue we’re just putting a Band-Aid over it. What you do is you treat this guy if he wants to stay in a lifestyle you can’t tell people what to do you can do or he can do is try and walk this guy through and help him the best he can but the first thing he says to couples that want to get into this is the marriage rate failure is over 90%. He starts with that so it’s usually the husband talking the wife into this shit and as soon as the wife hears it that she’s like no we’re done. I’m not doing this and the husband gets all mad. It doesn’t matter what you fucking want, buddy why not fix or figure out how to get through this here’s the other thing and this is for the writer of this article your husband wanted to start sleeping with other women. I’m assuming you’d be OK with it now I’m gonna tell you a little bit about me. I’m 6 foot 190 pounds 10% body fat, a former print model in New York City world class jujutsu former division one athlete got a full ride on track and field in soccer the Florida State in the late 90s and at 46 years old still I look better than most 26-year-olds if I was your husband and your husband look like that you would already know that I could get tons of women I’m great Amy I’m the dude you’re looking for to fuck and I say that arrogantly not to be an asshole but just it is what it is you may not like my attitude and you may not like who I am I don’t care, but I’m just being completely honest with you if your husband look like that like me was in the gym 56 days a week takes care of himself. I don’t know anything about your husband he could. He wasn’t lacking in the penis department was confident at all the alpha characteristics. I think it’d be a lot harder for you to be OK with him stepping out and doing the same I think if the tables were turned, I think you’d be the one that’s jealous now what I also can tell you is that women or more inherently jealous they are more jealous in men. It is 100%. I can tell you. I probably slept with more women than any hot wife slept with any man I wanna say I’d probably slept with over 200 women probably more. I woke up to a Colombian model one time in the gangs of war hotel in packing district not even remember how I got there from all the fucking Coke and drugs that I did Molly, I get steroids guys like me got tons and tons of women not just because we’re good looking but because we had a characteristic that women, especially the young ones were attracted to either I was doing 150 miles an hour or I was stuck getting traffic. I didn’t just wanna surf. I wanted to get pulled on by a jet ski in Portugal. I didn’t want to bungee jump. I want to skydive everything I did was to the extreme that is who I was and so women thought that they could change a man like me.
OK, number one: what everybody seems to think is huge, like 10 inches. My dick is almost 8 inches- 7.9, just about 8 inches. I am one percent of all the males in the entire world with big dicks, in the top 1%. You can look this up: anything over eight, 8 1/2 to 10 1/2, or 0.001% of males; that is, one out of 1- 500,000 men. Some as many men are 7 foot five walking this earth as men are walking around with 10-inch dicks, just so we’re clear on this. I need a guy with a big dick the husband thinking this guy’s got a 10 inch monster fucking anaconda. That’s not the way it is I will guarantee 90% of the women on this fucking thread even the one that wrote these articles have ever been with a 10 inch dick. I would say that’s fucking extremely rare if she’s been with one unless he’s a porn star that is the only way women are getting with guys with 10 inch dicks. biggest dick in the world is Matt Barr. I believe he’s a writer in the UK his dick is 14 inches Jonah falcon his dick was the biggest up until a decade ago. He was 13 inches and 7 inches thick. I’m gonna speak for all the ladies on this thread and I’ll speak for the writer of this article 100% you are not taking that up your pussy 100% that isn’t happening. Sex is supposed to be enjoyable. It is not supposed to feel like you’re giving birth and that is exactly how that’s going to feel. Babies aren’t bigger than 13 inches OK that dick is bigger than most babies that come out of mother’s vaginas so there’s that number two what pisses me off too is what’s with all the shit about the black guys. They don’t have bigger dicks. The two biggest dicks in the world are two white men black men truly had bigger penises the two biggest ones in the world wouldn’t be white. That’s just simple logic black guys don’t have bigger penises I can’t stand men like even on this thread that want to see his wife with a BBC why are you putting that in your head black guys are more bigger muscular no they’re not. There’s so much about this shit that’s beyond ridiculous. No offense to the person writing this. What is your name Emma you talk about theories comparison and sperm competition you know the people who wrote those theories they’ve been wrong about other theories there’s no evidence, scientific strong evidence suggesting that those theories bode well for humans those are made up assumptions based on sperm competition is based on fruit flies. OK in 1970
I don’t recall “making a statement that applies 100% to everyone” I was wondering why most women here say they prefer a bigger penis, and why most women on you tube say they don’t.
I wasn’t referring specifically to YOUR statement. I meant that ANY statement made to such a large group ends up not being applicable.
Even if we were to say “every woman has pussy” that wouldn’t hold true (depending on each person’s definition of what it means to be a woman).
Of course, that’s the obvious part, we’re all aware of it, which is why I pointed out that analyzing the environment (in this case, the websites where these comments are posted) can significantly influence which preferences appear to be the most prevalent.