Discipline · Getting Started

When do the Training Wheels Come Off?

As you undoubtedly know from reading my site, I successfully use the cage as a behavior modification tool to help him learn to restrict himself to the orgasm schedule that I dictate. Part of me realizes that caging him for the rest of his life isn’t realistic however caging him for weeks or months isn’t out of the question. Some guys live with a cage for years but I wonder how long we go before he is capable of managing his own releases. We’ve made a couple failed attempts and had to resort to the cage each time.

I trust him, I really do but I know that idle hands make cages necessary. When he is at home the easiest thing to occupy his time is his little guy and a little flicking turns to a little tugging and before you know it, cleanup rag is required. I do intend to go cageless again but I wanted to do some research first to find out what we can do to help increase our chances of success.

There are some huge positives of using the cage:

  • Constant state of semi arousal – This is a big one. He has commented that it feels like I’ve always got my hand loosely gripping him. Just enough to constantly be reminded that I am present in his life.
  • The lock – The sound the lock makes when it snaps shut. I love this and hate to give it up. Such a great mental reinforcement of my dominance. We’ve been using the holy trainer style cages recently so while there is less of a sound, there is still a distinctive moment when control of his orgasms are transferred to me.
  • The key itself – One thing that I refuse to give up is the key. Locked or unlocked, I’ve learned to love having the key as a symbol of our relationship. I have dozens of key necklaces, anklets and even little decorations around the house. I had a friend comment that I was probably a locksmith in a past life.
  • Sitting down to pee – This is a big one. I love the changes that it makes for the man’s urination tactics. Even if he doesn’t have to sit down to pee, he always uses a bathroom stall rather than the urinal. This makes me happy.
  • Morning erections – I like to see these restrained. Personal preference I suppose.
  • Cuddling – Cuddling without using the cage can turn into humping. I usually correct this by just saying “you’re cuddling wrong” but it is still annoying.
  • Cage Modeling – Call me crazy but I like seeing him walking around the house nude aside from his cage. This reminds me of our relationship and everything I love about it, and everything I love about him.
  • Psychological – There is a psychological aspect here that can’t be measured. Something about knowing that it is quite literally impossible makes him feel helpless. On the flip side, I feel powerful since I hold the key to his castle.
  • Restraining while playing – When I am teasing, I enjoy seeing his penis trying to expand its way out of the cage. I enjoy seeing him cringe as he knows that he is truly helpless and he cannot do anything about it. Even if we go cageless day to day, I’ll never give this up.
  • Fun – They are fun.

Some negatives to using a cage:

  • Uncomfortable – He complains of discomfort from time to time, not to mention it changes the way that he must do physical activity. From my side, this is almost a positive since his willingness to endure some minor discomfort shows his commitment.
  • Awkward – It can be a bit awkward, sideways hugs, being careful when playing with the kids, the dogs, etc.
  • Unsanitary – That sounds wrong but it does require frequent cleaning to keep things in tip-top shape. Removal is typically the only way to ensure that things are as clean as a whistle.

So what can we do to help us be successful without the cage being there to ensure our success?

If we make another attempt at going cageless we will probably couple our attempt with something that will take up some of his idle time. Maybe we get him a gym membership, a new hobby, stop smoking, start smoking, anything to keep that idle time occupied. Maybe some very detailed housework or annual spring cleaning.

As I put this article together, I figured that my list of pros and cons would be more even. Now that I’ve written it, I realize that the list of pros is huge and the list of cons is rather small. Maybe we will do a more hybrid approach. After each release, during playtime or when he is especially needy I may put the cage back on. My concern here is a perceived sense of freedom when the cage isn’t locked on but we will just have to see how that goes.

I figured the comments would get pretty messy here so I created a topic in the forum so we can discuss. I’ll update the article with any pros and cons that I may have missed. What aspects of the cage bring you joy in your relationship? What aspects do you find challenging?

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