Blog · Having Fun With It

Then There Were Three

I’ve hesitated to post anything about our new living situation for the last couple weeks because it is new and I really needed to take some time to let it all sink in. Some of the things that were criticisms initially turned out to be some of the more intriguing nuances of living as three. We have an admittedly small apartment so personal space is at a minimum. Sharing one bathroom has been a challenge as well.

Things are good on this end and what started as a one week trial quickly turned into much more. In my previous blog, Kevin and I discussed inviting Andrew to move in with us instead of signing another year lease at his apartment. We decided to give it a week trial to see how things would work out. We went about three days and we all came to the same conclusion, that we were having a wonderful time together. With the full support of Kevin and I, Andrew gave notice to our apartment complex and we started working on vacating his apartment. This is where things got ugly.

The apartment reserved a garage for Andrew but that fell through because the previous tenant decided not to vacate. This means all of Andrew’s stuff had to somehow fit into our apartment. We were able to get a small (12’x12′) storage unit at the place down the street but we had to fit quite a bit of Andrew’s stuff into our place. This meant that we had to reorganize and move things around. Even my computer desk was in pieces for nearly a week. We laughed and played together as we moved things to the apartment and the storage unit.

We got through it and it was FUN. Going through the experience together and the ordeal of moving with very little notice brought us together. I’ll still be quick to say that we aren’t a throuple or a triad and we don’t intend to be one. We are simply a couple and our friend living our best life.

So the dust has settled and our apartment has twice as much shit in it and we’ve got another person. You would probably think we are incredibly stressed out but we aren’t. Things seem nice. We went through a major life event together and it was fun.

The dynamic the three of us had prior to Andrew moving in was interesting and hard to define but things have become more clear now that Andrew is part of our everyday lives. It has become clear that Kevin is submissive to me and I find myself submissive to Andrew. Andrew and Kevin don’t seem to have a D/s relationship of any kind but that may simply be too new.

The sexual side of things have been great as well. I am still the center of attention and as a very physical person, there is always plenty of physical affection to go around.

Interestingly enough, Locktober fell shortly after Andrew moved in and we decided to participate, with Kevin being under lock and key for the month. This has added some visibility into orgasm denial that was previously out of view for Andrew. Andrew has begun to see the daily teasing and even party to the emotional changes that a retaining guy experiences. Another thing that wasn’t part of our shared lovemaking was pegging. Now that Andrew is part of our household, he enjoys being a part of those experiences as well.

The first time we pegged in front of Andrew was an eye opening experience for him. Kevin was of course locked, and understanding the importance of teasing and attention while locked, we decided to have a go at some hot pegging action. Andrew certainly knew that Kevin and I love pegging, he hadn’t watched or participated before so that was a new and exciting experience for him. That part of our lives had been behind closed doors and solely between Kevin and I. I didn’t want to exclude Andrew but I also wanted this to be close and intimate time between Kevin and I. Rather than asking Andrew to sit this one out, I invited him to watch us. Andrew agreed and I went to the other room to grab a harness. I grabbed the sexy lacy one and Kev’s favorite dildo. I pulled the harness up over my legs and tightened it up. Then I modeled it for Kev and Andrew. Andrew remarked at how sexy I looked despite the fact that I was now packing something extra.

Kevin and I proceeded to have a great time together, with Andrew watching curiously and intently from the desk chair on the side of the room. I think he was too transfixed at the events unfolding in front of him for his arousal to overcome his curiosity so he didn’t pleasure himself. We started as we most frequently do, laying in bed on our sides with a towel beneath us. I was big spoon and held him tightly as I pushed my apparatus into him.

After we were done, I was still horny (pegging always does that to me) and Andrew and I finished off with some PIV sex while Kevin supervised. As with every aspect of this new chapter in our lives, I felt like the center of attention and to focus. Call me an attention whore if you will but I love it.

My biggest concern entering this was a loss of the connection between Kevin and I. The good news is that our connection is still very strong and we still make alone time together. We go for hikes together and still do outings with just the two of us to give us time as a couple.

Our sleeping arrangement has been WONDERFUL. I am a cuddler at heart and absolutely enjoy being sandwiched between two beautiful men. The safety, security and general feeling of being wanted is like nothing I’ve ever felt before. Though waking up for a midnight tinkle can be challenging to navigate without inconveniencing one of the fellas.

So what about feelings? Have feelings been hurt? Has this been the black hole of hurt feelings that is so commonly attributed to these types of relationships? In short, no. The longer answer is that we’ve forced each other to be more open with communicating feelings. We make time daily to talk openly about how we feel and I think this alone has been instrumental. Does jealousy happen? Yes! Aside from the sexual aspect, I find myself getting jealous when Kevin and Andrew are playing and joking together. At the beginning, Kevin felt like he was losing part of me to Andrew. We made it clear that I am not some sort of bounty or prize to be won and I think that is where the male psyche goes. Once we settled that we are doing this to bring each of us affection and excitement, I think we sorted through it all. Andrew has even felt jealous at not having the same level of connection he has felt in previous relationships. None of these things have been dismissed, all of them are valid worries and emotions that have been discussed at length. Our forced discussions and communication has probably been annoying to the guys since they aren’t wired to talk about feelings but it has helped each of us.

Halloween was uneventful for us, not a single trick-or-treater due to the pandemic. With Halloween came an end to everyone’s favorite holiday month, Locktober. I unlocked Kevin and we had some wonderful PIV sex ending in what he described as a mind blowing, toe curling orgasm. After that long, he was much noisier with primal moans and the guttural grunt as he let a month worth of pent up love out. I really enjoy those uncontrollable man sounds, they are so fucking sexy. I smiled as he finished and I can only imagine the feeling of release after a month. The emotional roller coaster following his orgasmic high has been interesting and fascinating, as usual.

How did your Locktober go? Did you decide to push forward into NOvember or did decide that a month is enough? Tell your story in the forum.

I’ve started writing a few blogs in the past few weeks but never pushed the publish button. I’ve also come to the realization that I don’t like talking about myself as much as I enjoy discussing feelings, concepts and sexuality so expect less about me and more about that. My story has been fascinating to me and to the friends that I share it with but I don’t really enjoy talking about myself. To be clear though, I don’t hate it. I just don’t have that insatiable drive to start mashing keys to get my thoughts out. For as much as I enjoy attention, that is probably surprising. Because I enjoy overanalyzing, I’ve got some introspection into that as well. I feel like I owe you all a Q&A session, however so I will be happy to answer any questions if ya would be so kind to post them in the non-monogamy forum.

Hope you are all doing well and healthy. Talk to you all soon!

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DoubleEdged

Just wow!

I’ve been so excited to digest the latest development on this latest adventure Emma.

I don’t know why but I find this whole situation so exquisite.

Please do continue to share your thoughts and experiences with us, it is so rare to have genuine insights into dynamics such as this and you have a very insightful noggin for presenting them for the rest of us.

So glad things are going well with the “three” of you; individually and together.

dm6360

Thanks for the update, glad it’s working out for all of you.

subhubphx

Yay. Welcome back Emma! The month or so since you posted a blog has been much like a waiting for a new season of a show that you love, after a cliff hanger. I know it can be a burden to maintain this blog even when things aren’t so hectic, let alone all that you’ve been occupied with lately.

Congratulations on what appears to be a very successful transition from having a boyfriend to having that boyfriend move in with the two of you. There is nothing better than being able to exist in one’ best life. And thanks for the offer to accept and reply to questions about how things went/are going. I’m sure I’ll have a few.

Best of all, you’re back. We missed you.

DoubleEdged

I think I can speak for everyone else here when I say “we would love to hear more about these ‘distractions’ and what they might entail.

khorina

Great post, thank you for coming back to share.

We identify with the attention part. In our case, Queen is submissive in nature, but since we met I gave her the sub vibe and she has never accepted anything less. In the past, when I’ve been upset, in a passive-aggressive response I withdrew attention, and that really makes her upset. At some point I thought of us as a sub-sub relationship, but the way she demanded this attention is what moved us to a WLM.

But she also needs to channel her sub energies. She does that in other areas. I’m glad you can combine both in your own apartment!

As clear as it is now, it has been confusing for both in the past. I’ve tried developing my dominant aspect: failed (didn’t enjoy it and wasn’t good at it). She has tried being submissive to me as with others: failed. She’s tried being more dominant to others: failed.

Having said that, it’s clear to me Kevin needs to keep developing as a sub. Discovering that has helped me tremendously. For example, at work, I’ve been close to a dominant female, of course there’s nothing sexual or kinky, but we just get along perfectly. With her, I’ve progressed lots lately and she’s felt really supported and has formally moved up in the ranks. In the past, I’ve had very dominant male bosses with whom I get along perfectly, and as a result I’ve been given great opportunities. When I’ve moved to other situations, I can survive but it’s hard.

I have no regrets but if I could I’d ‘submit’ earlier, both to my Queen and to some bosses. It might sound weird, but I got along really well with one male boss (20+ years older). He loved my work, and I loved how clear he was. I hope Kevin can take advantage of the opportunity, and doesn’t go through as many confusions as I did thinking he could change.

Dear Emma,
It has been so good to hear about Your passionate and exciting experience with Your two males!!!
For a long time, i feared that Kevin would become mad… or that Andrew woud abuse of his new power… but You managed to surf on their both desires for You. Congratulations Miss !
Now i will have to hide Your blog from my Princess… 🙁
i am not sure i would be able to be as openminded than Kevin was.
Kisses on Your pretty toes,
paul

Last edited 29 days ago by sirpaulcorpur.resident
soundsofdelight

It’s great how you have found something so extreme that works for you, at least for now but I can’t help feeling it will end in tears. Probably all of us at sometime or another have had thoughts of threesomes or swinging with another couple but even if they took place they are likely to be one offs. I’d be worried that a live-in boyfriend would become a cuckoo in the nest. Anyway, thanks for a fascinating post and good luck.

RickT

Hi Emma. My wife of 49 yrs and I embarked on an FLR relationship last November after a big blowup. I gave her absolute sexual control of our relationship ( she already had control of all non sexual matters except bills and investments which she supervises at will).

The effect of this decision was to revolutionize our sexual relationship! I am still pinching myself to make sure I am not dreaming.

We both follow your blog and don’t miss a post and we love to follow your relationship with Kevin who I think is brave and terrific,

Keep up the good work and remember that sharing your relationship is a much stronger teaching tool that studies and theories.
RickT

nan-bam

When another person comes to live with her in a relationship that practices male chastity, the relationship can be complicated but it can also be enriched, of course the woman receives a double ration of male affection and is the center of both. If there is communication between the three parties and all are happy with what they have, it is a wonderful situation. FCM

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mstara

I think we all like to feel desired and valued. Like you Emma, for me one of the powerful parts of a non binary relationship is that incredible feeling of self worth, of being ‘somebody’.
Non intentionally or otherwise a long term relationship can easily slip into the familiar, having another man focused on me has refocused my husband as well.
It really can be a win/win, but I fully accept that it wouldn’t be for most and that it can be a fragile existence. One that is delicate to maintain the balance and hard work to keep checking in with all parties to ensure that there isn’t a car crash looming.

Last edited 19 days ago by mstara