I’ve always been an early riser. I get up bright and early every morning while Kev is up late every night. Watching movies, playing video games, whatever he does. I like to get up early and start my day with the sun and end my day when the sun is going down. Approximately 25 percent of us are morning people, 25 percent of us are night owls and the remaining 50 can swing either way as their schedule dictates. I’m definitely in the morning people bucket and can adapt when necessary but what can I say, I like my sleep and I often look forward to the relaxation that sleep allows. Kev is the opposite, we had a conversation last night and I asked if he liked sleep. I wasn’t surprised to hear him say that he finds sleep to be a waste of time and tries to get as little sleep as possible. So how does this couple get on the same page?
Perhaps they shouldn’t be on the same page. I know he enjoys his uninterrupted video game time in the late evening with his friends. I enjoy my morning time, the solitude allows me to be productive and awkwardly watch my handsome sleeping boy with the peaceful expression on his face. That sounds weird but there have been times that I stare at him while he sleeps and hope to god that he doesn’t wake up and catch me admiring the man I love. Now that I’ve admitted to the entire internet about being an absolute creeper. Let’s move on.
The Cage
The cage made an early appearance in our relationship as we implemented orgasm denial into our relationship. The cage allows him to harness his sexual energy and redirect it toward me. Huge benefits for our relationship that I won’t go into now but this site offers a ton of resources if you want to get started and learn more. One of the side effects of the cage is some uncomfortable night time erections. The cages are sized for a flaccid penis and through the day they are intended to hold the entire length of a soft penis comfortably. One of the challenges of orgasm denial is sleeping while caged. While effectively managing erections during the day, overnight erections or morning wood can’t be controlled since they naturally occur during sleep. I’ve often wondered why some cages aren’t designed with a daytime and nighttime mode which might give the wearer a small/supportive setting to use during the day and a large/relaxed setting to use at night. I know these devices are already complex but the intention is never discomfort. The intention is to manage erections and prevent masturbation. I’ve heard of some couples that use a larger cage for sleep and a smaller cage for day use but switching cages every night adds a wrinkle of effort.
The Solution
The solution for the nighttime erections is very easy, go pee. It is often speculated that morning wood prevents men from wetting the bed since it is virtually impossible to urinate with a raging hard-on. Hormone shifts are the real reason behind morning wood, not a naturally occurring way of preventing soiled linens. Either way, a nice wee is a nearly immediate way to make hard things go soft again. It has been a long way coming but I swear my point is just around the corner. Kev tends to get these uncomfortable erections around 4:45am-5am every day. It just so happens that my watch is set to wake me up at 5am every morning. His morning wee and my alarm would often coincide with him deciding to simply stay up with me. Despite some experimentation with the honor system we’ve decided that the cage isn’t going anywhere. This means that his 5am wee isn’t going anywhere either. After so long, his body has grown accustomed to an early wakeup and the early wakeup begets and earlier bedtime. Before too long, our schedules have aligned quite nicely. It doesn’t hurt that I’ve made some requests once I’ve seen him up. From requesting some oral love to telling him how much I’d love to have him make me a cup of coffee or my absolute kryptonite, bacon.
Conclusion
We are all most productive during a certain part of our waking hours and now that Covid seems to be subsiding, we also have jobs to contend with. In our relationship, we’ve been able to use the cage to help align his waking hours with mine. This is incredible because we are able to spend more time together. Then again, it is also important for us to do our own things individually and cultivate our own interests. If his biology simply isn’t wired to be up with you at the break of dawn, don’t force it. Be mindful and respectful of the way he is wired and accept that quality sleep is essential. Your relationship is what you make of it and nobody will be happy if they are forced to become an early riser if they don’t want to be. I just figured that I would share this inadvertent bonus that we’ve received from our adventures with orgasm denial.
I have found it impossible to refuse my girlfriend’s offer of breakfast in bed.
“If his biology simply isn’t wired to be up with you at the break of dawn, don’t force it. Be mindful and respectful of the way he is wired and accept that quality sleep is essential. Your relationship is what you make of it and nobody will be happy if they are forced to become an early riser if they don’t want to be.”
I like when my wife forces me to change to her benefit. It makes me feel happy and validated. I hate rising early, but I will gladly do so for her, and appreciate being asked to. For example, during the school year, I will gladly get up with the kids on any day that she wants to sleep in. (This is not the old me. This is the antithesis of the old me. Pretty dramatic reprogramming.)
The cage has also work wonders for Our case: She needs more sleep than me. i used to just have long nights and wake up a little ‘moody’ due to the lack of rest. The cage waking me up had me moody as i woke up even earlier, more tired. Her solution was the same than Yours: “sleep earlier!”. Now we chat and cuddle, but when She calls a night, i go to sleep. It makes me very submissive to finish my days in Her timing. She loves going to sleep feeling cuddled, and i am usually more awake so i have some minutes to get intoxicated by Her warm body as close i can without moving (to avoid waking Her up). i even take some non-addictive sleep pills if/when needed so i sleep in Her timing. Then the erection (or biological rhythm) wakes me up and i am MUCH more refreshed and with much more energy than before, so i get active pretty early and She is happy as coffee, breakfast, chores and even some work is done.