Kev and I are newlyweds, we got hitched just two short months ago. While he and I are in our honeymoon period on paper, we've been together for years. We actually have a honeymoon planned for next month so I suppose you could say pre-honeymoon period. Our sex life is great but sex, desire and physical intimacy within the context of marriage is way more complex than it sounds.
What if I was to say that sex with my husband is not sex? It is of course sex by the clinical definition but it isn't sex in terms of sexual satisfaction. That sounds bad but I don't mean it to be. My husband is amazing, we've got an emotional connection and we have sex often. Our physical intimacy is an almost electrifying connection. In fact, I am a believer that consistent sexual experiences together are essential to our strength, confidence and communication as a couple.
He is good enough, he is a wonderful lover and I wouldn't hesitate to call him my soulmate. With that being said, sex with my husband is not the deeply erotic "jump my bones" energy that scratches my sex itch. Sex with him can become routine as with any long term partner and we do our best to keep our bedroom activities fresh. Sex with him is a deeply bonded and there is no way for me to displace the deep emotional connection. We both acknowledge that our sex is primarily emotional and it is not primarily physical.
Typically, women experience the 20% of sex physically and 80% emotionally while men experience 80% of sex physically and 20% emotionally. Kev and I are working to unlock and understand our hidden percentages. I am working experience sex sessions that are 100% physical and Kev is working to experience sex sessions that are 100% emotional in support of my pleasure. I'm certain that we will never reach a sexual pinnacle of 100% in any context but I'm glad to be on a journey of pleasure and understanding with such an amazing man.
Have you ever decided not to pursue a relationship with someone because he seems like more of a friend? At some point, you've likely friend-zoned a guy despite a good personality fit but you just aren't physically attracted to him. You just don't feel that connection and that sexual draw.
It may came as a surprise that all long term emotional partners will eventually enter the friend zone. Rekindling romance will only bring back memories of the chemistry you enjoyed at the beginning of the relationship. You can never bring back what was once a completely chemical reaction. Time has replaced what began as an exciting sexual fling with companionship, familiarity, and family. This is often called compassionate love and involves the brain chemicals oxytocin and vasopressin which are most commonly associated with pair-bonding and family. Replacing passionate love with companionate love is inevitable evolution of a mature relationship. Partnered sex in the context of family is sustainment of that equilibrium.…
