Ask Agni: A Wife’s Perspective About Male Chastity

Male chastity and strict orgasm control became an important part of my hubby’s experience last summer.

Before you decide to lock up your hubby’s penis, you need to ask yourself the following questions. Are you unhappy with how much attention he now pays to you? Do you think that at least part of the problem is that he is paying too much attention to pornography or other women? Has he admitted to you that he masturbates too much? Would you be willing to give up intercourse with him, at least in the short term, if you got a lot more attention from him, including a lot more oral sex? Are you willing to take control and put in the effort to make your relationship work in a new and exciting way? If yes, you should consider chastity for your husband.

To put this in pop psychology terms, Mars and Venus were attracted to each other, romanced each other and fell in love. Mars and Venus got married. Mars eventually retreated into his cave as men are apt to do and while there found it convenient to masturbate rather than be with Venus. All too rarely does he emerge to pay any attention to Venus. Venus thought that with marriage Mars was hers and that life would be a forever version of their fairytale courtship days. She ignored the advice of wise mothers to daughters for generations that if you want to keep your man you have to keep making him want you because it sounded sexist and not needed in the modern world. What is a wise Venus to do if she wants a happy lifelong marriage? She has to stop passively letting her marriage pass her by. The first step is that Venus needs to take control by keeping Mars from masturbating in the cave by locking him in a chastity device. The second step is for Venus to enthusiastically embrace her biological and psychological role in keeping Mars turned on. The third step is for Venus to get Mars’ problem solving nature focused on how he can please her and for her to stop thinking the answer is to their happiness is to figure out what she can do please him.

To make chastity work you need to first develop a plan and then whole heartedly put it into action. I read a lot and communicated with many others and the strong consensus was that chastity to change your marriage has to be real and not a game. It has to be a 24/7 part of your relationship. 24/7 is the foundation; it is what changes men for the positive because they shouldn’t have the opportunity to control their sexual release. This is one of the areas that the goddess, lady, mistress, keyholder or whatever you prefer to be known as must have absolute control of. Although the woman remains in control it is very important to remember that you and he are still a couple in a relationship, he is still your husband and that shouldn’t be forgotten, your relationship only changes once you close the bedroom door. Life goes on as it always has, employment, financial, family issues and decisions are all still there. Your dominance should not interfere in other areas though you will find he will react differently, often positively, as his feelings and emotions change.

Whether this is something that he initiated, the two of you mutually agreed upon or something that you decided to impliment, one thing is a necessity: there needs to be something for him to gain. He is giving up something that is a very important part of a male’s life, his sexual abilities — and for that you need to realize that he should be rewarded as you will be, but obviously in a much different way. You know the things that he likes, that arouse him and put a smile on his face. Often times we find that these are things that really do not interest us but considering the sacrifice that he is making you too can make sacrifices. Like marriage, chastity needs mutual rewards and often you will find those things that you reward him with will lead to an increase in his being aroused and enhancing his over all demeanor. It could be giving massages or trying sexual things that he likes but you never desired to try. You know how to dress to turn him on and you need to find out his fetishes if you don’t know them already and indulge them. All of this will heighten his happiness and arousal. He is making a permanent change in his lifestyle and you too may need to make some permanent adjustments so that he feels things are fair.

All men, given the ability, masturbate and way more often than most women think they do. This is something that is difficult for him to control and even more difficult to part with. Young men have an abundance of testosterone so masturbation doesn’t seem to interfere with their pursuit of young women. However, as men grow older masturbating usually translates into the husband ignoring his wife for at least a couple days. Chastity puts a stop to the masturbation and works in many ways; it changes his mood, demeanor and libido. Most importantly it changes his desire to please you. It is not the goal for him to do the cooking or the cleaning or the laundry but you will find that it will happen, not routinely but it will happen because as he continues to build up his sexual energy that he no longer has the ability to release as he pleases he will divert that energy towards pleasing you. Your being the source of his sexual pleasure will change his feelings, he will adore you, love you in a way that you desire and he will be eager to please you because you are, as I said, the source of his release. He will find, over time, he is happier and that will be because you’re happier. He will love the emotional boost the two of you share.…