Hi Emma, my name is Allison, and I need your advice. My husband recently opened up to me about his fantasy involving humiliation involving penis size. At first, I didn’t know what to think. I’ve always been happy with his size! He’s on the slimmer side, but I married him, didn’t I? I know your website is about cuckolding but I have zero interest in bringing another person into our bedroom, but I love knowing that I turn him on and that I can fulfill his fantasies. I want to try this for him, but I don’t want to harm our marriage or make him feel mean or guilty in the process. Can you help me figure out how to incorporate my husband’s new fantasy without a third person?
Hey Allison! First of all, I just want to say how incredible it is that you’re so open and supportive of your husband’s fantasies. It’s clear you two have a strong relationship where trust and communication are key, and that’s such a solid foundation for trying something new—especially something that might feel a bit out of your comfort zone at first.
You mentioned that you don’t want to involve another person in the mix, which is great! There’s no need for anyone else to be a part of this until such time you decide that step is right for you. SPH can be an intimate, playful way to connect with your husband and make him feel excited and vulnerable with you alone. It’s awesome that you’re ready to dive into this without compromising what feels right in your marriage. So, let’s talk about how you can ease into SPH in ways that are comfortable for you and, at the same time, give your husband exactly what he’s looking for.
First things first—remember that SPH is more about words than actions. Men often find this type of humiliation arousing because it taps into their insecurities in a controlled environment, where they feel safe with a partner they trust. By bringing those insecurities to light, you sexualize them, flipping the script in a way that makes it a turn-on rather than a source of anxiety. It’s like saying, “I see this thing about you, and I love teasing you about it because I know you enjoy it too.” The beauty of SPH is that it’s all about the mental game, not the actual size of his penis. You even said it yourself—you’re happy with his size, and you married him, so we know that you’re in a good place sexually.
So, how do you start? Since your husband’s fantasy revolves around his penis being “small,” play into that with humor, light teasing, and, most importantly, words. He’s not actually looking for you to hurt his feelings; he wants you to pretend like his size is an issue, exaggerate it, and make him feel like he’s a little inadequate—in the sexiest, most fun way possible. You can absolutely do this without ever feeling mean-spirited or crossing lines. Think of it as a sexy game or a playful, flirty act.
One fun way to introduce SPH is by incorporating a cock sleeve or extender during sex. These sleeves add both length and girth, and might be something you both end up enjoying. The reality is, once he removes the sleeve, he will look noticeably smaller, which is the perfect opportunity for you to make a cheeky, teasing comment about the size difference. It can be as simple as, “Wow, that was normal sized and now, — now what happened?” You’ll likely find that once the comments start flowing, they become more natural. The first time I used a sleeve with Kev, I couldn’t stop myself from laughing at the size difference, and I playfully said, “Aw, hey there, little guy!” in a whiny, almost baby-talk voice. It wasn’t even planned; it just came out because the contrast was so obvious. And let me tell you—he loved it.
To help you out, here are a few SPH comments you can use that strike the right balance between playful and condescending. Try to lean into that teasing tone, and don’t be afraid to be overly verbal because that’s what makes it next-level SPH that he’s craving!
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Toggle15 SPH Comments to Try:
- “Aww, is that it? I was hoping for something bigger.”
- “Look at you, all excited with that little thing!”
- “I can barely feel you inside me, baby!”
- “I guess size really doesn’t matter… for you.”
- “Poor little guy, don’t worry—you’re trying your best!”
- “Oh sweetie, did you think that tiny thing would satisfy me?”
- “This must be why they call it ‘fun size.'”
- “Aww, it’s cute how you think you’re going to fill me up.”
- “I guess I’ll just have to pretend you’re bigger!”
- “How can something so small get you so worked up?”
- “I think I’m going to need something a little bigger tonight.”
- “I can’t believe this is the best you’ve got!”
- “Aww, look at you trying so hard with that tiny thing.”
- “Well, at least you have other talents!”
- “I hope you don’t think this is enough to get me off!”
Another fun way to incorporate SPH without even using a sleeve is to initiate sex in whatever way the two of you tell the other that you are ready for intimacy and then, right before you start, stop and ask him to grab the extender because you’re in the mood for a “real cock” or you “want to feel something big for once.” You might not even end up using the extender—just the request itself will likely get his blood pumping and push the SPH fantasy into action. Using SPH as a way to deny him sex can also be a great tool, especially on nights when you’re not feeling super sexual. You can say something like, “I just can’t get turned on by that little thing—why don’t you jerk off while I watch?” or “I’m really craving a big dick tonight—go grab my dildo, and you can watch while I play with that instead, sweetie.” It’s sexy, playful, and gives him that SPH thrill without pushing you outside your comfort zone.
Locking him up in a chastity cage can be another way to build SPH into your relationship. You could tell him, “No honey, I don’t want to have sex tonight. In fact, go lock that little thing up while I masturbate with a man’s sized penis. Don’t worry, I’ll unlock you later.” The combination of SPH and chastity is a powerful one, and it’s something you can control entirely without a third person.
Now, you didn’t mention whether you and your husband are into pegging, but if you haven’t tried it yet, I highly recommend you give it a whirl. Pegging is an amazing way to turn the tables without involving anyone else. Imagine him lying on his back, making eye contact with you as you thrust your hips toward him, watching the dildo slide in and out. You can narrate him through the entire experience, saying things like, “My dick is bigger than yours,” or “If your cock was bigger, you’d be doing the fucking.” It’s all about promoting you to the dominant role and demoting him to the submissive role and playing up the SPH dynamic. The words you use matter more than the pegging itself, so if you have to focus on one thing, go with the dialogue.
Here are some ideas for things to say while pegging him that really emphasize the SPH vibe:
15 Fun & Humiliating Pegging Phrases:
- “This is how it feels to be fucked by a real cock.”
- “You are great in so many ways, I wish one in particular wasn’t such a disappointment.”
- “I love watching my cock stretch you out—yours could never do that.”
- “I guess someone has to do the fucking since you can’t.”
- “You can’t even compare to my strap-on, can you?”
- “Don’t worry, I’ll do the real work since your tiny thing can’t.”
- “Wow, you’re so much better at being the bottom than the top!”
- “This cock is everything yours wishes it could be.”
- “A real man should be fucking me, not the other way around.”
- “Does it feel good being put in your place?”
- “This is what it feels like to be with someone who knows how to fuck.”
- “I guess I’m the one who gets to do the fucking around here.”
- “If you had a real cock, we wouldn’t have to do this.”
- “Your little thing could never satisfy me like this.”
- “You’re such a good boy, letting me use you like this.”
After every SPH experience, it’s essential to have an open and honest conversation with your husband. Communication is key to ensuring that both of you feel good about what just happened. Remember, SPH is roleplay—an erotic fantasy, not a reflection of how you truly feel about him or his body. Let him know that you love and appreciate him for who he is, and that his size has always been perfectly satisfying for you. Reassuring him that the teasing is purely for fun will help him feel secure, knowing that this dynamic is just part of your intimate play.
Take time after each experience to check in with how he’s feeling. Ask him if anything felt too intense or if there were any moments he particularly enjoyed. This way, you can fine-tune your approach and continue to create a safe, loving environment for exploring these fantasies. Aftercare—whether it’s cuddling, talking, or just being close—helps you both come down from the heightened emotions of the roleplay, reinforcing the trust and connection in your relationship.
To sum it all up, Allison, it’s amazing that you’re so willing to explore this part of your husband’s fantasy while staying true to your own boundaries. You’re giving him the gift of vulnerability and excitement, which can only deepen your connection. SPH doesn’t need to involve anyone else to be fun, sexy, and effective. It’s all about the words, the energy, and the playful teasing. Keep things light, enjoy the power dynamic, and most importantly, have fun exploring this new side of your intimacy together!
