Cuckolding. It’s a word that used to make me squirm, and not in the good way. I mean, could there be a more loaded term? Yet, here I am, not only talking about it but fully embracing it in my own marriage. If you’ve been following me, you’ve probably noticed my journey from rejection, to curiosity, to full-blown enjoyment of what cuckolding brings into our relationship. And I know I’m not alone in this. Many couples tiptoe into this dynamic, wondering if it’s a temporary phase or if it’s part of something deeper, even transformative. Today, I want to explore whether cuckolding is just a stepping stone in a relationship or if it can become a permanent and fulfilling connection.
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ToggleOur Evolution in the Lifestyle
Let’s start with a bit of honesty—I’m admittedly new to the cuckold dynamic. Kev and I haven’t been in “the lifestyle” (whatever that means!) for long, but we’ve adapted and tweaked the culture of our relationship more times than I can count over the last six years. From casual flirting with the idea of open relationships to the occasional swing, and now cuckold experiences, we’ve seen it all evolve in real-time.
What I find fascinating is how these changes seem to come and go in waves. One minute we’re all in for pegging or exploring different forms of domination, and the next, cuckolding takes center stage. And from what I’ve observed—not just in my marriage but in others—this ebb and flow is a consistent theme in many lifestyle relationships. I’ve met swingers who have been at it for decades, couples who have pegged their way through a dozen years, but cuckolding? It seems more fluid. People move in and out of it. And that begs the question: why?
Cuckold Angst: A Deal Breaker or an Opportunity?
I think one of the major reasons why couples might enter and exit cuckolding is something that’s sometimes called cuckold angst. And if you’ve ever been in this situation, you’ll know exactly what I mean. It’s that emotional cocktail of jealousy, inadequacy, and arousal that the cuckold experiences when his wife is intimate with someone else. Now, you might think this is a total relationship killer, right? Wrong.
For Kev and me, it was actually the opposite. That angst became an opportunity—a place where we could dive deep into what we really needed from each other. It’s like shining a spotlight on the insecurities and the desires that we were too scared or too polite to talk about before. Suddenly, everything was on the table: trust, communication, love, desire, and yes, even the messy emotions like jealousy.
So is cuckold angst a deal-breaker? I’d argue that it’s actually a maker—it forces you to confront what’s brewing under the surface. But not every couple handles it the same way. Some might see it as a stepping stone to something else, while others might find it’s just too much to deal with. In some cases, that angst becomes a springboard for other relationship dynamics, like polyamory.
Cuckolding as a Coping Mechanism
From what I’ve seen—and experienced—cuckolding can sometimes be a coping mechanism for both the husband and the wife. For the cuckold husband, it’s often about exploring submission and redefining his role in the relationship. For the wife, it’s a way to embrace sexual freedom and, let’s be honest, a bit of power. (And who doesn’t love a bit of power now and then?)
But here’s the thing: once you’ve dipped your toes into the world of cuckolding, where does it lead? Some couples seem to transition into polyamory from here, while others pull back entirely, opting for more traditional dynamics. In my experience, cuckolding isn’t a dead-end phase; it’s more of a gateway to other types of relationships. For some, it’s a way to ease into non-monogamy, slowly but surely.
Cuck vs. Poly
Let’s talk about polyamory for a second. When Kev and I started exploring cuckolding, I didn’t think we were anywhere near ready for something as complex as polyamory. It felt like cuckolding was this manageable, compartmentalized thing—Kev was still very much my husband, and any other man was just there for a bit of fun. But the more we got into it, the more I realized how close the line between cuckolding and polyamory actually is.
In cuckolding, the wife forms a temporary connection with another man (the bull), and it’s usually more about physicality than emotional attachment. But what happens when feelings start to creep in? What happens when the bull is no longer just a bull but someone who means something more? That’s when the line between cuckolding and polyamory starts to blur. Some couples can keep the emotions in check and maintain that clear separation, while others find themselves opening the door to more than just sex.
So… Is It a Stepping Stone?
If you’re asking me whether cuckolding is just a stepping stone, I’d have to say it really depends on the couple. For some, it is. They use cuckolding as a way to test the waters of non-monogamy, to see if they’re comfortable with sharing their partner before fully diving into something like polyamory. For others, cuckolding is enough. It fulfills the desire for sexual exploration and power dynamics without the need for deeper emotional involvement with others.
In our case? I think we’re still figuring that out. Kev and I are in a good place with cuckolding right now—it’s exciting, it’s fun, and it keeps us connected in a way that I never thought possible. But could it evolve into something else? Maybe. Could it be a permanent part of our marriage? Also, maybe. What I do know is that, for us, cuckolding has been a huge step forward in terms of our communication, trust, and intimacy. Whether it’s a stepping stone to polyamory or a lifelong dynamic, only time will tell.
One thing is certain: cuckolding has forced us to grow as a couple. It’s not just about the sex (though that’s definitely a fun part!). It’s about learning to navigate emotions like jealousy, trust, and vulnerability. It’s about redefining what it means to be a husband and a wife in a way that works for us. And if we decide to transition to something like polyamory down the road, I think cuckolding will have prepared us for that. It’s given us a foundation of openness and honesty that we might not have had otherwise.
A Permanent Connection?
So where does that leave us? Is cuckolding a permanent connection type, or is it a stepping stone to something else? I think the answer is both. For some couples, it’s a temporary phase that helps them transition into polyamory or another form of non-monogamy. For others, it’s a dynamic that can last a longer, providing a space for sexual exploration, power play, and emotional growth.
For me and Kev, the jury’s still out. But what I do know is that cuckolding has brought us closer together, not further apart. It’s been a tool for growth, healing, and fun. Whether it’s a permanent part of our marriage or just one phase in our journey, I’m grateful for what it’s taught us.
So what do you think? Is cuckolding a stepping stone or something more? For those of you who have been at it for a while, how long have you been cucking?
I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences—whether you’re just starting out or have been in the lifestyle for years. Until next time, you are all cucking awesome 😂 and I appreciate each and every one of you.
I think every aspect of a relationship evolves or retracts. Cuckolding is no different in that once it becomes a “normal ” cuckold marriage, and the less it’s kink based, the more evolving can occur.
We have been married almost 18 years, with cuckolding becoming a part after just a couple of years together. However, my wife hasn’t had a boyfriend in roughly 2 years. After being in stagnant place for most of those 2 years, she recently began pegging me again. However, this time the strapon has become an extension of her and it truly feels like passionate love making.
We have both been surprised by the passion, intimacy, and length of our love making. I’m most surprised that I have fully embraced my bottom role and how my body has responded.
I apologize for the long comment….just wanted to share that we have evolved again and it’s incredible!
Doesn’t entering a poly situation defeat the purpose of cuckolding? If you enter a poly relationship with a bull then they enter the same category as a main relationship partner and thus all of the thrill and excitement you talk about is gone along with the humiliation, play, etc. They just become another partner who you are splitting time and emotional energy with, kind of like you are just watering down two emotional relationships and not getting to deep. Also, you would then have to find another bull to cuckold the two of them now?
Fun question. No. I think poly and cuckolding can coexist but that’s a great blog topic so I won’t expand on my answer for now.
I suppose cuckolding is a form of poly. If she is going away for the weekend with someone else, or talking/texting/meeting up with outside of the bedroom, it is a relationship on some level.
I don’t think they are related. Cuckolding is a thing you do but not a relationship type even though I’ve been guilty of calling my relationship with Kev a “cuckold relationship”. I don’t think it defines us.
So what do you think? Is cuckolding a stepping stone or something more?
At the risk of being repetitive, cuckolding is simply a normal part of a female led relationship, this along with enforced male chastity, pegging cuckolding, corporal punishment, teasing, edging etc. the woman asserts her authority. Increasingly, men (especially men under 40) submit to this because they’ve been programmed to through years of female domination by mothers, aunts, female classmates, teachers, counselors, sisters in law, and workplace supervisors. Cuckolding is just one of several female led relationship “privileges” she may indulge in as she sees fit. 🙂
” … cuckolding is simply a normal part of a female led relationship …”
I wouldn’t call it normal. Not uncommon perhaps, but not normal.