Hi everyone. You've been hearing about my sex life from Em for some time. I have to admit that I am a bit insecure writing this blog since you all know the inner workings of my relationship. I feel as if I need to make excuses for enjoying the framework that Emma has set around sex in our relationship but the honest truth is that I enjoy it. Our sex life is great. Sex in previous relationships has resulted in resentment, distrust, confusion and even infidelity. In this relationship, sex is free from all of that. Sex today brings me confidence, consistency, and intimacy. Despite the sexual aspect being mostly out of my control, Em regards us are equals. From an outside point of view we probably exert very few signs of our unique relationship. The giveaway might be Em's key necklace.
Em did catch me off guard when she introduced her methods to me but she has been nothing but upfront about sexual expectations since day one and I really appreciate that. I have a healthy sexual appetite, I like to have sex a few times a week and we are generally matched in that regard. Prior to Em, sex always ended up with an orgasm for me. I hadn't heard of or considered any other way, really. The first few times we had sex, everything seemed normal, similar to my expectations. The first time that we had sex and she abruptly ended once she was finished, I thought she was joking. How could she make such a wonderful dinner but deny me dessert? With her help, I soon realized that dessert isn't something that you need every day. When she allows me dessert in moderation, I enjoy it much more. When she rations my dessert, I savor dinner more. Enough of the food metaphor, it is making me hungry.
So you might wonder how it feels to be under lock and key. I like it. I like knowing that she has my best interest at heart and always knows and adjusts for my needs. Don't get me wrong, orgasms feel wonderful but so does her attention and teasing. Her loving hand touching and reassuring me. Knowing that she is caring for me makes me want to do things for her. It makes me want to make sure that she knows that I appreciate her leadership and direction. Emma called me out on a few things that I was doing such as the sex barter system which I had never heard of.
Previous to meeting Em I did masturbate at least once a day, it was more of a routine than a necessity. I'd masturbate when I woke up if I wasn't in a rush. Then maybe again in the evening to help me sleep. I always thought that was pretty normal and never gave it much thought. It was there, might as well play with it. I had never considered the self-sabotage that I was doing and the damage that I was doing to previous relationships.
A list of questions was posted on the forum and I'll be replying to those questions below in a Q&A format. If you have more, I'd be happy to answer, just post them there and Em can give me a list.
What effects have you seen in yourself and your relationship?…
I’ll add these to the list for a followup. Thanks!
“Em prescribes me multivitamins with male sexual enhancement/libido boosting properties. ” Exactly what vitamins or supplements are prescribed?
Sure. This is the one that he takes.
Thanks
I also take a similar supplement as I do weight training. The key ingredient is Tribulus, Personally, I found the mix of the following to be quite effective: daily 500mg Tribulus, 125mg maca, 2000ui Vitamin D, and whatever Zinc that is present in the Multivitamin.
Thank you Emma and Kevin for such amazing forthrightness with your experiences. I can only imagine how strong your marriage must be. While I am sure many in this country would find a chastity lifestyle undesirable, I believe EVERYONE would envy such a closeness and honestness.
Well done, and good upon both of you.
David
Thank you. We aren’t married, he has asked a few times but I am not ready for that just yet. The chastity lifestyle is different and might be scary to some but I doubt that many would find it undesirable if they were openminded enough to give it a shot. Society sets expectations and this is certainly a departure from those expectations. Only the bold I suppose. Thank you for the comment.
With the help of Emma and other amazing women, the message is getting out to more and more people.
so happy for you man and so proud of emma for what she did for you or to you depending on the perspective, my gf and i had a bumpy road as well when we started our relationship in general i was always acting high and mighty on her and acting better than her (asshole, sorry for the bad language) until she humbled me good. she taught me my place well, made me enjoy it and made it good for our relationship. tbh i am not as much under my gfs control as you are so do you encourage me to go for it? i mean her dominance is mainly tying up, gagging and pegging me, its those times that i enjoy the power she has over me most.
Re the supplements and vitamins, there is a short piece in the NY Times today stating that a fish oil supplement does actually increase testicle size and output, with increased sperm motility, but does not address the emotional changes you note and seek from tease and denial. Would be an interesting continuation of the study.
This is just excellent. I know this is from a little over a year, and things have continued to evolve (see what I did there?) for the better, but I’m really glad that I was able to see this.
Loved this: “…..going to bed without cumming is indescribable. Sex without the possibility of orgasm is incredibly addictive. The constant teasing and attention can’t be understated.” and couldn’t agree more.
and this: “Going back to the cage now would probably feel like a punishment”. This is where my wife and I have evolved with the use of the cage. Punishment … like now as I write this … because I am being punished. And I lover her for it.