One of the best things about locking your man is the complete removal of pressure to have sex. Previously I would feel like we would flirt through the day and I would feel pressured that sex was expected that night. When he is locked up, the pressure is completely removed. The pressure would sometimes make me feel like I couldn't tease him through the day - grab his butt, be overly flirtatious because he would then have expectations that night. Now, the GOAL is for him to have unfulfilled expectations with the looming reward being the ever-dangling carrot of sweet release.
Now I tease freely with zero regard for consequences, anxiety or pressure. I simply see his nice butt and give it a squeeze. I see his caged cock and give it a nice tug to make sure everything is secure. Short blog today but I was just thinking about then when I got out of the shower this morning, walked up behind him and started kissing his ear and blowing my warm breath on his neck. He moaned pleasurably and then grimaced as he undoubtedly felt the strain on his cage.
I wouldn't call us an overly kinky couple, in fact we were fairly vanilla until we discovered the cage less than a year ago but it has absolutely changed things for us. Our relationship is now so much more fulfilling by harnessing one little thing and using it to take things up a level. If you've been on the fence about locking your guy, I encourage you to give it a shot. I can really understand how these things are quickly losing their taboo and becoming so mainstream.
We had some family in town and a bit of a rough weekend so he missed his regular Sunday release so it is going to be a long week. For him.
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I started this blog a month or two ago and the single biggest question is from guys asking how they can get their girlfriends or wives to lock them up. I decided to put some ideas together but please remember that this is not about your little fetish, this is about her and what she wants. If she says no, don't pester her. Bring this up once every six months tops and try a different approach each time. The last things he wants to hear is her guys latest fetish over and over again. Most of my articles are written for her but this one is written specifically for the guy that wants to be locked up.
Explain to her that this is not something kinky. Tell her it’s because you love her and think it will bring you closer together.
Find some erotic male chastity stories that are somewhat realistic and romantic, and show them to her. Perhaps the two of you can read them together as foreplay. If you find good ones, please send them my way and I can link them here.
Tell her that you are concerned you are not being the best husband you can be. Explain to her that male chastity is about her feelings and not yours.
Show her some of the many articles online that explain that male chastity is romantic and designed to ensure you will stay together forever. Tell her you want this because you value your relationship and want to grow old with her.
Be honest and tell her exactly how often you masturbate. Explain to her that you can’t help it, and let her know how ashamed you are. Mention that you think about other women when you do it, but you want to only think of her whenever you are sexually stimulated.
Let her know that you are sometimes tempted to stray. Reassure her that you don’t really want to stray, but confess that you are weak - as all men are. Tell her you are worried that if you are not locked up, you will one day cheat on her and ruin your relationship.
If you have a small penis, tell her you want to learn other ways to please her that don’t involve penetration. Explain that as long as your penis is free, you are driven to mount her - even though you know she’d be much happier with hours of oral sex.
Remind her that once you are locked up, she’ll never have to give you a blowjob again. Tell her you’ve had enough, and it’s time for you to be the one on your knees.
Explain that once you are locked up you’ll be motivated to do more around the house - and ask her what chores she would like you to take over once you are in chastity.
Discuss how you’ll be forced to sit down to pee while locked up, and how this will make your bathroom floor much cleaner. It will also give you an extra moment or two to reflect on how important she is to your life.
She should know that once you are locked up she would be in control of the situation. If she only wants you locked up for a few hours at a time, that’s fine. If she wants you locked up for a month, you’ll also agree to that. The point is she has to understand she can make the rules and keep you in chastity any way that feels comfortable for her.
Tell her this doesn’t mean she has to give up penetration. Talk to her about how it can actually make penetrative sex hotter for both of you. Explain that having sex with her need not include you ejaculating. Separating your ejaculation from sex will ensure that sex is truly about her and her needs.
Finally, and this is the most important part, tell her how much you love her and that you desire this because of your deep and abiding adoration of her.
…
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Are you a monster? Scheduling sex takes the fun out of it! You might think so but I've found that setting expectations and taking privileges away if life gets difficult, his behavior isn't up to par or I simply decide to. I've also found that your man doesn't need ejaculation or penis/vagina sex or anything in particular. Your guy just needs sexual attention and this can be in the form of teasing, pegging, cuddling, kissing and oral (giving or receiving). What your man needs is to feel sexy and feel wanted. The more sexual energy that you spread his way, the happier he will be and the more he will be under your spell. Compliments about his behavior, teasing him about his size or being locked and unable to satisfy you, guys that you find attractive... really anything - the more you act like your sexual self around him, the more he fulfilled that he will feel with the sexual aspect of your relationship. At the end of the day, the ultimate goal here is to have a healthy relationship and for both of you to feel totally fulfilled. As an example, here is our weekly schedule and we are both busy so we don't follow it too closely but it does give us a guideline so we can make sure that we are both getting what we need.
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Teasing is one of the best things about having your man on a release cycle as it allows you to exert your dominance on him. Whether locked or not, make sure you do lots of touching, brush by him grab his butt. Lean down in front of him to pick things up and grind yourself against him. Go over-the-top with your teasing while he is locked to amplify the effects of his lockup time. I especially like laying on the bed sticking my butt out and "presenting myself to him". Maybe even shaking my butt a little bit knowing full well that he is quivering and aching in his cage wanting nothing more than to get out. After doing some of these things, make sure you ask for a back massage or shoulder rub so he can redirect some of that pent up energy back toward you!
I know. You do this already but this time, why not try leaving him caged if you don't normally? Spank him before you peg him if you don't already. Make his butt all red and tender before you start pushing yourself into him. Teasing is all about mixing things up. The more routine things get, the less stimulated your teasing will get him.
Play with yourself! Either keep him locked in his cage or handcuff his hands behind his back to ensure that he doesn't touch. You can even have him go down on you to kick things off.
Give him your strap-on and ask him to fuck you. Do not release him from his cage and don't use one of those thick penis extender sheaths. You want him to remain locked and you want him to see you being penetrated while feeling nothing from the experience. All he will feel is pressure from his cage. If you are truly evil, get a cage with spikes. Don't use one of those penis extender/sheaths, he can still get some pleasure or pressure from those. You want him to watch it slide into you and instead of feeling glorious, he feels absolutely nothing. You may even go over the top with the moaning or go over-the top with your compliments about it. Pick something bigger, longer, wider, longer, shorter or curvier. Just pick something different and tell him how much different it feels. This should really accentuate your play.
Eventually you are going to let him cum but he needs to remember your authority. One of the hardest times for him to follow your directions is when he is almost ready to cum. To get him better at listening, I've talked about how important it is to stop him prior to cumming and cage him up for release on another day. This reminds him that you are the ultimate word in your relationship and the importance of following directions. If you give the instruction to stop and he doesn't do so immediately, start counting. 1,2,3 representing the amount of days he will go without release next time. If it continues too long or he finishes, skip a few numbers. There is no reason to keep things sequential. 1,2,5,7,14. or 5, 10, 15, 20. As with everything, have fun with it and keep him paying attention to your directions.…
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He's responding to the Sticking to the Program article I wrote.
Wow, yum, yipes. I think both what lucky husband but I also wonder what is the quality of consent that you can get from a lizard brain. Does the effect of repeated stimulation, repeat edging and semen retention effectively render a Man intoxicated and perhaps for longer that his erection lasts after sex. 1 year ago there was an entry called, “His Week Off.” I understood that entry to be an affirmation of the virtue and value of retention and male submission. He got what he asked for and in the end, after a week he discovered it wasn’t what he wanted. But is that what it showed. The week off came after a 2 week period of more intensive preclimax stimulation. Did yoga husband every reach a level place in which he could take stock in himself and his situation and truly make a decision from an empowered or self possessed position or is what was described really just a man recovering from a neurochemical maelstrom. While men and women are different imagine that genders of voices in the companion inventory are reversed and imagine a man who is the breadwinner having just had sex with his financially dependent wife, and the sex was profoundly asymmetric and she was unsatisfied and to keep her in line he reminded her of her dependence on his salary for food and shelter I think many would find that scene disconcerting, regardless of the quality of the orgasm she had once a week. Do any men in these relationships suffer lowered self esteem when the preorgasmic haze clears?
JD
"He got what he asked for and in the end, after a week he discovered it wasn’t what he wanted. But is that what it showed. The week off came after a 2 week period of more intensive preclimax stimulation. Did yoga husband every reach a level place in which he could take stock in himself and his situation and truly make a decision from an empowered or self possessed position or is what was described really just a man recovering from a neurochemical maelstrom"
My husband is not in a constant state of delirium. After sex, he is back to a normal thinking man in a 2-3 hours. My husband has had years of ejaculation on demand. He remembers what life was like in that state. I think this comes down to what is mans true nature. You’ll often hear me say that as man retains, his true nature is revealed to him. Is his depleted state his true nature? Is constantly masturbating and ejaculating with no energy left for his mate the way in nature. After all in the animal kingdom it’s a rare animal that can ejaculate without the female. They are driven to court and penetrate a mate. Of course they ejaculate every time they have intercourse, but the female is only receptive at selective times so there is quite a bit of retention going out there. At least they must find a mate and don’t sit in the woods masturbating by themselves except for primates. I maintain my husband’s vitality and essence by insisting on retention and eliminating his masturbation habit essentially returning him to the state that nature intended. And in that state, he courts me until I'm receptive and allow penetration. Consequently, he is in a state where he loves, cherishes, and adores me much of the time. When he was depleted with ejaculation on demand, that state didn’t exist. I feel that depletion from masturbation is not man’s natural state. And that’s the problem with many men in our culture. Combine that with the availability and ability to view novel females that never existed before in the history of man, and our culture is in crisis.
Are we doomed to be a culture of grass eaters - a term used to describe the Japan phenomenon where men have lost interest in engaging in finding a girlfriend or sexual partner. They are becoming so prevalent that it’s effecting Japan's birthrate. Men are becoming less interested in being in relationships and even touching a real woman. Are they still sexual? You bet, where else would they channel their sexual energy? They sit in front of a screen and masturbate looking at one novel female after another. It’s much less dramatic with my husband, but he was certainly less interested in me when he was a regular masturbater. I can see how grass eaters have become an issue in Japan. My husband now craves to be with a real woman all the time with retention. I submit basically that depletion is not man’s natural state, but retention is. People can compare and see what they prefer.…
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Once my man was retaining, I began to naturally assert my self. As he was retaining his self perception began to change bringing him more into alignment with the vision of what I thought our relationship should be. I feel that ideally that a relationship should be loving and passionate through the years and not taper off to a passionless state with time. Retention seems to have largely accomplished that for us. Again, I only have experience with one retaining male so your mileage may vary, but I assume most men will respond in a similar way.
The biggest thing for my husband was changing the perception of his ejaculation as a "given" in intercourse to ejaculation being optional. My perception also changed about this as well. I know this isn't practical, but in an ideal world, I think men should only ejaculate when trying to conceive a child, and the rest of the time during the relationship, he should be retaining in order to foster maximum emotional intimacy in the relationship. My husband certainly doesn't do this, but still his perception of his ejaculation has gone from it's totally up to him whenever and wherever to "I want to ejaculate. I need to discuss this with her." And we'll have a meeting and discuss it. It's up to me to decide if it's the most prudent thing for him or not. Ejaculation is not frivolous thing for him as it is for most males. That's a huge change for him and it has a ripple effect to other aspects of his psyche:
Cultural Perception of Masculinity This is a big one. A real man shouldn't have to ask his wife if he can ejaculate. I would contend that a real man can see the big picture and see that if he submits to his wife in this one area, that the whole relationship will transcend to a different level. And that he needs her to be stronger than he can be during the heat of intercourse and enforce retention. Most western males simply aren't going to be able to retain without assistance from the female. Retaining isn't something that he can secretly do. It's something that's out in the open that we're both aware of, and I do what I can to stop ejaculation preserving his semen contents like the precious zinc in his system among other things. We have separated ejaculation from intercourse and accept that his penis is only for penetration to help me climax and a weekly draining to flush it out for maintenance. The cultural perception of masculinity has been determined largely by free ejaculating males and the women that submit to them. Things that come from it like two men hitting each other in the head until one falls down are probably disposable and not essential to our culture. From my experience, the retaining male is focused on his wife and not cultural perceptions.
Humiliation He confesses that he feels humiliated on occasion as I use him for my pleasure leaving him with an engorged penis and my secretions covering his face as I just walk away. But this dynamic makes him even harder, so I discount it. Humiliation is part of his arousal mechanism, and it seems to be the result of retention. Couples will have to make their own observations about this, and see if it bares out for them as well. Retention leaves him accepting his role as a tool for my pleasure and looking forward to serving me again and again.
Once I had him to the point where he knew that I wanted him to consult with me before ejaculation, it brought us much closer. He waits for the release command on ejaculation day. The last thing he hears before his ejaculation is the sound of my voice giving him permission to do so. I think that this alone will produce changes in the relationship. And I must admit, it's a bit of a rush seeing a penis do that simply because I tell it to. I always like to look back as I'm riding his face for my orgasm after giving the release command to watch him squirt. Once I removed that privacy from his life, and inserted myself in the decision making process between him and his penis, he was always hoping to be with me. We went from leading separate lives in many ways to being much closer and increasing the frequency of intimacy.…
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It's important in my opinion that when you have your man retaining and he is preserving his Jing and building Chi that I prepare myself to receive that special Lingam that has been prepared for me by my loving husband. I incorporate Yoni exercises like this to maximize my orgasms in addition to my regular Yoga routine. I insist on his retention for spiritual and health reasons. Some comments I receive seem to focus on retention as a way to domesticate the man which can be a role for him as he discovers his true nature through retention. It's not something I'm as focused on as the spiritual and intimacy benefits. He doesn't orgasm/ejaculate while servicing me, but he does participate in the cycle of chi between us.
These videos demonstrate why it's so important that I be his discipline for retaining as he is weakest at the moment of intercourse. While every woman is not going to be as limber, or have the vaginal strength as other women, or even be as comfortable in letting it all go and being a sexual being, there are great benefits in practicing and strengthening and fun in seeing what your yoni can be. I'll let Grace demonstrate (Her husband also retains)
…
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"Hi again, I have read and reread everything I think. My placement of this comment here seems somewhat random but here goes: in your relationship semen retention and orgasm control have been very useful tools for a relatively dominant woman with a high sex drive to contain and regulate her husband’s sexual and emotional energy both to maximize marital passion and meet both her needs and his (though he might not have recognized his needs prior to embarking on this journey). From the outside it appears that female dominance and male submissiveness might have been necessary starting points from which practices like semen retention and the prohibition of male masturbation have relevance and utility. Certainly there needs to be enough desire for physical intimacy by both parties for the practices you describe to present a pathway that both parties want to journey down. I wonder whether your practices would speak to a woman with with a low libido, who is menopausal and not interested in sex, who has little desire for an orgasm and seems to view her husbands sexual energy as an unwanted excess, a threat and not a a potential resource for her pleasure. In an almost sexless marriage my wife has no issue with my masturbating and sees it as a discharge of energy that she has little to no use for. She claims that she does not masturbate or think about sex these dat.To the extent that I can restrain myself and have done so I can feel my affection for and focus on my wife increase but unfortunately it is unwanted and leaves me feeling a bit lost, like I am pushing on a string...
I suppose that I’ve put this comment here under the “Awakening your Yoni” because I specifically wonder whether there is any literature on yoga, or similar practices providing a post menopausal and estrogen depleted female with an augmented libido. Unfortunately because of a family history of breast cancer oral or topical hormone therapy is not a good option. I’m quite impressed by your thoughtful description of your successful marriage and am eager to find a truth or a tool here for us. I know that you have written this blog for women so that they might be empowered by your words and not necessarily for men, and that you are not marriage counselors either but I am eager to her you thoughts on my hypothetical."
Thanks for reading and your comments. First of all, a woman needs to be in good health and have good energy to have a healthy libido. There are many things that can get in the way of this. Stress is a biggy, and sometimes men forget how much can be on a woman’s plate between work, kids, housework, and all the other activities that keep everything going. It takes a lot of energy. Unfortunately, many women suffer from sleeping issues during peri-menopause and menopause and can have multiple sleep interruptions during the night because of hot flashes or other reasons. If you have an enormous amount of energy that needs to be spent on the tasks that keep all the wheels turning, and you’re not able to get adequate sleep, sex is the last thing on your mind. Anything you can do to lighten her load and lessen her stress may be helpful. …
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I thought I'd share a companion inventory we had recently. During one of our intercourse sessions when he's in his half zombie state and quite out of his mind, he states that he wants to go back to "normal sex" and take a break from retention. In this state he loses all higher brain function and is oriented only toward the goal of ejaculation. I tell him he still has four days until his special day as I polish off orgasm #8 on his face and remind him to lick as he sometimes forgets when he loses brain function. I finish #9 and get up to clean myself and pee as he lies there moaning half conscious with a steel hard erection pointing to the ceiling with only the thought of ejaculation processing through what's left of his cognitive function. This is why following retention won't work unless I as a woman supervise it and make sure that he retains and have simple consequences that even someone that only has a lizard brain left can understand in this post intercourse moment.
A half hour later he wants to have a talk and states "No, really, maybe we should take a break from retention for about a month, and that I should think about it."
me: I thought about it and the answer is no.…
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I'm writing this based on recent observations over the last few months and from recent information that my husband has shared with me since I have allowed him to pull on his penis without ejaculation as basically more of a means so that he could pacify himself after sex so I can escape and get on with things other than sex. I'm very satisfied after sex, and it frees me to move on as he lies there moaning and pulling on his penis helping him to cool down post sex without ejaculation and I don't have to lie there and cuddle and be affectionate. I was initially concerned that he could have an accidental spill while doing this. He reports that even though he's obviously highly aroused post sex, that this provides no stimulation to him other than just more of a pacifying behavior while he's still highly aroused. I really wasn't expecting this, but the stimulus response between his brain/fantasy, hand and penis matrix (brain + hand + penis = ejaculation) has successfully been put on extinction over the last year, and replaced with only vagina + penis = ejaculation. That's pretty exciting! It's to be expected I guess, and I shouldn't be surprised that the principle of extinction in operant conditioning applies even to human male arousal mechanisms, but I'm still surprised that the stimulus response mechanism between his hand and penis could be broken. I'm sure this relationship could be restored with effort, it's just that the wet vagina is a much more superior conditioned stimulus.
I know there's a lot of wives/girlfriends dealing with a lot of masturbaters out there. I hope this offers some hope. It is possible to condition a man to seek only your vagina. Granted this is my experience with this particular male. It just required me to stand up and enforce retention in our home.…
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I was going to talk about moving forward to this six week schedule. I've heard that at four to eight weeks it might be possible to separate orgasm from ejaculation, but mostly I'd like to optimize his recovery time, especially through the winter. I thought I'd put it in context of a companion inventory that we had.
I'll just include the meat that's relevant here:
Are you still masturbating, pulling on your weenie? (without ejaculation of course)…
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Ask your man how much he masturbates and I think you will be very surprised. If he says anything less than once per day he is probably lying. Men should only cum once every 5-7 days (depending on age) and testosterone levels. Here is a very general guideline to help you find his correct level:
20-29 Years - Three to five days
30-49 Years - Five to seven days
50-59 Years - Ten to twelve days
60+ Years - Twice a month tops.
He should always ask your permission before masturbating, few men have enough self control to limit their masturbation on their own. If you suspect that he is masturbating behind your back, have him cum on your chest and examine the amount of cum. You know the regular amount of cum that your man can produce. If his levels are too low, you know he is not being truthful about his masturbation habits.
This is very common and almost all men require a chastity device to get their habits under control. There are simply too many distractions and porn and erotic images are too easily accessible. If he has an accident and breaches your trust, you should punish him by whatever means you use in your relationship but that punishment should be much less severe if he tells you about it rather than you catch him lying to you about it based on his low semen volume.
Sexual urges can be very distracting and your man will grow to appreciate your help with controlling his urges. His testicles spend every waking hour producing sperm and hormones which his body tells him that he needs to release frequently. You want to step in and stop that release to ensure that you get the best man that he can possibly be. Frequent masturbating changes his mindset from wanting to please one woman to lusting after multiple women. Control that mindset and ensure that every release of his semen are with you. If you have him on a ejaculation cycle, obviously this would be different.
If you must allow him to masturbate without you (long distance relationships, frequent travel etc) have him masturbate to a photo of you or a pair of your panties. Have questions? Comment below.…
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As you undoubtedly know, women enjoy a great rush with an orgasm but it isn't quite the same as men. Depending on mood, stress and hormone levels, women can go for days or weeks without even wanting an orgasm. Men aren't quite the same for a few reasons. Let's go through the effects of a man that isn't permitted to release his sperm.
When a woman enjoys an orgasm, her body releases some hormones that give her pleasure but those hormones don't really build up over time. Men have a physical body part that fills up over time and they feel an absolute need to release their sperm. This is a evolutionary thing, men need to spill their seed so they can continue the species. If men had no desire to use their penises (penii? hah) it would end the human race rather quickly. What we are talking about here is manipulating your man's natural sexual desire to strengthen your relationship. The natural sexual desire is the source of wandering eyes and marriage itself is designed to manipulate the natural sexual desires.
Sperm are created and develop on a 72 day cycle called spermatogenesis (I'll try and keep the big words to a minimum, this isn't that kind of blog). Testicles are a big mass of tubing that if uncoiled would be about 25 feet long (each). The sperm travels through this tube and when ejaculation happens, it is mixed with semen a watery substance that helps the sperm survive in the not so delicate, acidic environment of a vagina. When ejaculation happens before sperm can be produced, it can appear more watery because you are seeing fluid with very low levels of sperm in it.
1 Day - Not much happens. Maybe some desire. Most men masturbate once or twice a day but it isn't the end of the world if they skip a day since there isn't much pressure to speak of. Daily masturbation is more of a habit, not a biological need.
2 Days - Typically men start to feel some pressure on the second day as their testicles are used to a daily release. While there still isn't a biological need, they can start to feel uncomfortable as their testicles start to fill up.
3 Days - With sufficient protein and zinc intake, it takes about three days for a man's testicles to fill up. By this time a man who is used to daily masturbation is really starting to feel like he needs a release to help ease the discomfort that he is feeling. Imagine the cramps and bloating that you feel during your period but confined to one much smaller area of your body. It is no lie, they really do need to release their spunk. Also at this time when aroused, pre-cum will leak after about the third day. I find that he is the most cranky around day three.
5 Days - After the third day, the testicles are full in most men. At the 3-5 day mark, sperm will be the healthiest and will lose their motility (ability to swim well) after the fifth day. If you were trying to conceive, you would want to "clean out his pipes" every three days to ensure that the sperm in each ejaculation is as healthy as possible. He will feel uncomfortable here but aside from some pressure and aching, it shouldn't be significant.
6-8 Days - By the seven day mark, he will start to feel some real discomfort as his body will be accustomed to constant sperm production. He will start having some emotions typically associated with female PMS as sperm production shuts down. The seven day mark is where the body starts absorbing some of the hormones related to sperm production to keep the sperm alive. This absorption will be unfamiliar to the frequent masturbator and he may lash out or appear cranky with these new emotions as the hormones are released back into his body instead of being released into a tissue or wherever his semen is typically released. If he is allowed a release at this point, the full amount of semen cannot be released and many of the hormone levels will remain in his body. My preference is to keep a man on a seven day cycle (give or take a day).
10 -14 Days - Extended periods up to two weeks won't hurt but don't significantly help. The benefit to a lockup of this length is when using lockup as a punishment since the mild discomfort turns to a throbbing pain/discomfort. hormones continue throughout this period. He can begin to be cranky or irritable but the consequence of extending his lockup by a day or two will usually get this under control.
15+ Days - Not my cup of tea. Typically they start to get depressed and even resentful. Consequences must be increased as the threat of a day or two extension isn't as impactful anymore. The body adapts to the new hormone levels and the man will lose a bit of his edge but become more subservient and quiet. Benefits of a long lockup like this can last a while after release so feel free to use a good long lockup to kick start a new relationship.
Seven Day - This is my favorite cycle for my guy. After release he will have heightened levels of Oxytocin and be generally more agreeable/mold-able by the third or fourth seven day cycle. You will notice a man on a seven day cycle will tend to be more loving, more willing to do things around the house like cleaning and parenting. Hormones released before ejaculation will linger in the body for the next five to seven days so you will get an overall better man when you've got him on his 7 day cycle. You will find that this will get you a more verbal male capable of deeper more emotional conversations. After about the third day, he will open up and have share feelings that he wouldn't normally share. His increasing hormones will encourage him to talk and share his feelings. Once you are on a good seven day cycle, you can expect to build a deeper connection with him.
14 Day - I do mix these in from time to time but they are usually attached to a punishment. Typically the pain and discomfort associated with the longer lockups will keep him much happier to be back on his normal lockup cycle. There are hormonal benefits here since hormones do continue to build through the cycle. I go to the 14 day cycle a few times a year when I want him to be especially compliant or as a punishment when he messes up. If we take him off the his normal cycle because we are traveling or life gets in the way, I will usually kick start things with a 14 day cycle.
30 Day - I really don't do these much as they can tend to make him resentful or depressed. They can be great if your fella is especially cocky, arrogant or fights you with the process.
30+ Days - I don't ever do more than 30 days, it just isn't my thing. A man needs to have his orgasms and they do him good. A constant reminder of the reward that I hold the keys to.
Irregular/Unscheduled - Some couples may want to do this infrequently to add a boost to your relationship. While I am confident that you will eventually end up with one of the above release schedules, this is a great place to start.
I have tried going longer than the time-frames that I suggested above and his sex drive seemed to wane. After a week he is frustrated and sore. After two weeks he is sore, distracted and grumpy. After three weeks, he starts to get very emotional, sad, crying, whining etc. After a month he starts to get apathetic and defeated. I put him on testosterone booster pills, had him look at porn and ramped up the teasing a bit but it didn't really do much. I suppose the old adage of "if you don't use it, you lose it" may be true for penises or at least sexual desire. I say keep him going with releases every week or two tops and you will harness all of his manly vigor without any real side effects. My sample size of locked men is small so feel free to experiment, maybe mine have been exceptions.…
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When she is fucking you, it’s not the pleasurable sensation of the base of her strap-on on her clit she’s getting off on. She can rub her clit better and quicker with her own fingers.
No. How she feels about pegging is mostly about *fucking you*. That she’s penetrated you. In where your defenses were highest. Beaten you. Accepted your submission and taken you as hers. This is stress relief, this is letting go, this is taking the reigns and this is one of the deepest most intimate moments in your relationship.
She knows that it is uncomfortable and that is just fine. In fact, your discomfort increases her pleasure. She isn’t looking to hurt you but she wants you to understand that you are at her mercy. She gets off on the fact that she COULD hurt you if she wanted to. She wants you to understand that she is in control of the situation. She wants you to know that she chooses to be gentle but one overzealous thrust and you could be gritting your teeth in agony.
From the moment that she asks you to get on your knees and suck it for her, she derives no pleasure from the piece of plastic that you are gagging on. Her pleasure comes from the penises that she has sucked and the feeling of dominance that has been exerted by kneeling in front of you and the men before you.
When she enters you, she knows that this is the most tender moment. When you ask her to put it in gently, she thinks of the times that you’ve pushed a bit too hard, a bit too quick, and the discomfort that it caused her. She thinks of the men before you and the discomfort that they have caused her. She is taking this part of the relationship back and she absolutely loves the role reversal. This is about unwinding the mind fuck that her sex life has been up until this point and showing one man. Just one man. What it is like to be on the submissive end of an act that is by its very nature dominated by the male.
She determines how long, how fast, how hard. All of the details are up to her and once she decides it is done, she simply pulls out and tells you that you are done for the night. She relishes in the fact that you feel dominated. You feel as if you have submitted your sexuality. You don’t have the same feelings of domination and victory that you typically get from sex. You feel a sense of pleasure but you also need her to hold you and reassure you that she loves you and everything is going to be alright.…
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Managing modern relationships can be difficult for both genders. Women can find this especially challenging due to all of the expectations of today's woman. I don't know about you but finding a guy who is appreciative of what we go through is challenging if not impossible. I was working on a master's program in the psychology field and recently had to put that on hold due to the pandemic. In the meantime I've continued to use my personal relationships as guinea pigs (sorry fellas). Truth is, they don't mind because it enhances intimacy, closeness and the overall quality of the relationship. I've had a couple long term and very fulfilling relationships that followed this formula. I've currently been with my boyfriend whom I reference frequently on this blog. We've been together for about five years, have a wonderful relationship and marriage may be in our future.
More attractive women typically have traits that the male mind finds more suitable for reproduction. When you do something to subconsciously limit his ability to find value in a woman, he puts all of that value and admiration directly into you. This may seem manipulative and maybe it is but it directs his hormones and sexual energy in such a way that he is laser focused on your emotional and physical needs. Nobody else in the world can exist but you.
How can I get my boyfriend/husband to focus his energy on me? The number one thing that I attribute to this success is being in complete control of the sexual aspect of your relationship. I don't mean that you have to be on top every time, do the act of sex however you want but ensure that he must ask you for sex. If he attempts to initiate sex without asking permission, break off sexual activity and shoo him away.
Maintaining control of his sexual release ensures that you are of sexual value and importance to him. Women are of a certain value to men, prettier women are more valuable than less attractive women. While one can argue that it isn't fair, that's fine and frankly I would agree with you but that is just how it is. I know, I've upset a few of you. Sorry. My point is that men find value in attractive women because of the prospect of having sex with them. If your limit his sexual release, the inherent value that he sees in you changes and his brain tells him that you are the most valuable woman in his little world. This little brain hack ensures that he doesn't look elsewhere and his brain fixates directly on you.
If he asks for sex, don't answer right away. Consider it for a moment before responding. This will ensure that he knows you are weighing the pros and cons and not overly anxious to hop in bed with him. Suggest and tease sex through the day and change your mind once you get home and comfortable. Too tired, headache, explosive diarrhea, we've all used these reasons before. You want to show him that sex with him is a privilege and never something that you owe him. Although you want him to sexualize your body, you don't want him to objectify it. You are in a partnership and both of your bodies are part of the enjoyment of that relationship. Make him feel important to you in all ways but sex, in that department you should make him feel important but unnecessary.
Sex is certainly not something that he will receive from you simply because you promised it earlier in the day. This will continue to reinforce his sexual needs coming second to yours in the relationship. You want to demonstrate a level of sexual superiority and as you build this dynamic, he will begin to feel less confident in the bedroom. As his confidence wanes, he will come to you for more and more of his confidence. Eventually he will come to gain confidence by pleasing you. As such he will be greatly impacted if you are displeased. …
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