As you undoubtedly know, women enjoy a great rush with an orgasm but it isn't quite the same as men. Depending on mood, stress and hormone levels, women can go for days or weeks without even wanting an orgasm. Men aren't quite the same for a few reasons. Let's go through the effects of a man that isn't permitted to release his sperm.
When a woman enjoys an orgasm, her body releases some hormones that give her pleasure but those hormones don't really build up over time. Men have a physical body part that fills up over time and they feel an absolute need to release their sperm. This is a evolutionary thing, men need to spill their seed so they can continue the species. If men had no desire to use their penises (penii? hah) it would end the human race rather quickly. What we are talking about here is manipulating your man's natural sexual desire to strengthen your relationship. The natural sexual desire is the source of wandering eyes and marriage itself is designed to manipulate the natural sexual desires.
Sperm are created and develop on a 72 day cycle called spermatogenesis (I'll try and keep the big words to a minimum, this isn't that kind of blog). Testicles are a big mass of tubing that if uncoiled would be about 25 feet long (each). The sperm travels through this tube and when ejaculation happens, it is mixed with semen a watery substance that helps the sperm survive in the not so delicate, acidic environment of a vagina. When ejaculation happens before sperm can be produced, it can appear more watery because you are seeing fluid with very low levels of sperm in it.
- 1 Day - Not much happens. Maybe some desire. Most men masturbate once or twice a day but it isn't the end of the world if they skip a day since there isn't much pressure to speak of. Daily masturbation is more of a habit, not a biological need.
- 2 Days - Typically men start to feel some pressure on the second day as their testicles are used to a daily release. While there still isn't a biological need, they can start to feel uncomfortable as their testicles start to fill up.
- 3 Days - With sufficient protein and zinc intake, it takes about three days for a man's testicles to fill up. By this time a man who is used to daily masturbation is really starting to feel like he needs a release to help ease the discomfort that he is feeling. Imagine the cramps and bloating that you feel during your period but confined to one much smaller area of your body. It is no lie, they really do need to release their spunk. Also at this time when aroused, pre-cum will leak after about the third day. I find that he is the most cranky around day three.
- 5 Days - After the third day, the testicles are full in most men. At the 3-5 day mark, sperm will be the healthiest and will lose their motility (ability to swim well) after the fifth day. If you were trying to conceive, you would want to "clean out his pipes" every three days to ensure that the sperm in each ejaculation is as healthy as possible. He will feel uncomfortable here but aside from some pressure and aching, it shouldn't be significant.
- 6-8 Days - By the seven day mark, he will start to feel some real discomfort as his body will be accustomed to constant sperm production. He will start having some emotions typically associated with female PMS as sperm production shuts down. The seven day mark is where the body starts absorbing some of the hormones related to sperm production to keep the sperm alive. This absorption will be unfamiliar to the frequent masturbator and he may lash out or appear cranky with these new emotions as the hormones are released back into his body instead of being released into a tissue or wherever his semen is typically released. If he is allowed a release at this point, the full amount of semen cannot be released and many of the hormone levels will remain in his body. My preference is to keep a man on a seven day cycle (give or take a day).
- 10 -14 Days - Extended periods up to two weeks won't hurt but don't significantly help. The benefit to a lockup of this length is when using lockup as a punishment since the mild discomfort turns to a throbbing pain/discomfort. hormones continue throughout this period. He can begin to be cranky or irritable but the consequence of extending his lockup by a day or two will usually get this under control.
- 15+ Days - Not my cup of tea. Typically they start to get depressed and even resentful. Consequences must be increased as the threat of a day or two extension isn't as impactful anymore. The body adapts to the new hormone levels and the man will lose a bit of his edge but become more subservient and quiet. Benefits of a long lockup like this can last a while after release so feel free to use a good long lockup to kick start a new relationship.
- Seven Day - This is my favorite cycle for my guy. After release he will have heightened levels of Oxytocin and be generally more agreeable/mold-able by the third or fourth seven day cycle. You will notice a man on a seven day cycle will tend to be more loving, more willing to do things around the house like cleaning and parenting. Hormones released before ejaculation will linger in the body for the next five to seven days so you will get an overall better man when you've got him on his 7 day cycle. You will find that this will get you a more verbal male capable of deeper more emotional conversations. After about the third day, he will open up and have share feelings that he wouldn't normally share. His increasing hormones will encourage him to talk and share his feelings. Once you are on a good seven day cycle, you can expect to build a deeper connection with him.
- 14 Day - I do mix these in from time to time but they are usually attached to a punishment. Typically the pain and discomfort associated with the longer lockups will keep him much happier to be back on his normal lockup cycle. There are hormonal benefits here since hormones do continue to build through the cycle. I go to the 14 day cycle a few times a year when I want him to be especially compliant or as a punishment when he messes up. If we take him off the his normal cycle because we are traveling or life gets in the way, I will usually kick start things with a 14 day cycle.
- 30 Day - I really don't do these much as they can tend to make him resentful or depressed. They can be great if your fella is especially cocky, arrogant or fights you with the process.
- 30+ Days - I don't ever do more than 30 days, it just isn't my thing. A man needs to have his orgasms and they do him good. A constant reminder of the reward that I hold the keys to.
- Irregular/Unscheduled - Some couples may want to do this infrequently to add a boost to your relationship. While I am confident that you will eventually end up with one of the above release schedules, this is a great place to start.
I have tried going longer than the time-frames that I suggested above and his sex drive seemed to wane. After a week he is frustrated and sore. After two weeks he is sore, distracted and grumpy. After three weeks, he starts to get very emotional, sad, crying, whining etc. After a month he starts to get apathetic and defeated. I put him on testosterone booster pills, had him look at porn and ramped up the teasing a bit but it didn't really do much. I suppose the old adage of "if you don't use it, you lose it" may be true for penises or at least sexual desire. I say keep him going with releases every week or two tops and you will harness all of his manly vigor without any real side effects. My sample size of locked men is small so feel free to experiment, maybe mine have been exceptions.…
I keep coming back here day after day and learn something new each time. I think you have enough material for a book, Emma. Thanks for all the work you put in for our benefit.
So glad that you are enjoying the site! I feel like I still have so much learning to do before I am ready to publish a book but it isn’t out of the question. I just need to feel like I am at a stopping point or turning point in my journey so I can write about it from start to finish. I feel like I’ve got a beginning and we are somewhere in the middle for now. I’ve also never published a book so I don’t even know where to start!! Thanks for the kind words!
I have to admit that it is pretty embarrassing how little I, as a man, know about this topic or am consciously aware of its predictably cyclical nature. On many occasions I’ve tried (and failed) to stick to some sort of schedule, in the hope of using regular and/or much reduced masturbation to help with my motivation, mood or ability to focus on life tasks. Without oversight, it just never happened, or I simply wasn’t able to look at myself objectively enough to figure out what the desired outcomes should be or whether I was achieving them.
My wife has never been very demanding when it comes to limiting my orgasms. A week is about as long as she has ever asked me to go. I would submit to longer periods of denial if that pleased her, but I think I would find it challenging. But then, I have never found that my desire to please her drops off after an orgasm. Gratitude motivates me to continue to serve her after I cum, especially when she makes me cum with her own hand as a treat. But I acknowledge that there is an intense feeling of submissiveness when I have just given her an orgasm either with my tongue or one of her toys and she tells me there will be no orgasm for me.
a really good way to condition him like that.
as a man i would encourage the woman not to stick to 7 days but to keep it very variable. so sometimes 5 and sometimes 14 days. in no case a fixed frame and thus make the man’s life too safe.
play with him and after 7 days simply extend or shorten 2 or 3 days. always surprise him and leave him in the dark.
okay, there has to be the time freedom.
i am sure that the man can get used to 2 or 3 weeks without any problems and stay balanced. it just must not suddenly just become more and he is torn out of his habit. preventing the habit is the key.
We are retired and I retired a couple of years before my wife. She found out I had been masturbating at home while she was at work. She wasn’t too happy thinking about being at work and i was home pleasuring myself. That is how we got started with chastity. I started wearing a stainless steel device during the day time only, I could take it off when she got home, although sometimes I did just sleep in it. I would have it on before she left and at first, took it off as soon as she got home, later I wore until bedtime. We still had sex some, mostly on the weekend.
You would be surprised how much more I got done around the house not wasting so much time. It even surprised me. I was way more productive, cleaned house, took care of the yard, shopping etc.
@Russ195 Has your frequency of sex changed at all the longer you have been locked up and now that your wife is retired?
No frequency of sex has not changed, it did for a while, we did it more. But after a few months, she cut down a lot of sex activity. I don’t lock up as much, she is always around. She has me go shopping with her most of the time so I am not left alone at the house. The thought of me playing while she is gone is not good in her mind. We still have sex, but she controls how often.
Yep, doing other stuff to distracte you from the cage.
This is such a good post, I keep re-reading it. Like much of male chastity the denial cycle is very couple eccentric and important for both. I think how long someone can go, may have a lot to do with how much intercourse they are having during the denial – that could just be me though. We still haven’t found that point of diminished returns, so we continue to add days or weeks from the last longest denial period currently pushing passed 6 – 8 weeks.
If you’d like to maximize the chastity lock up experience for both of you, try gradually extending his periods of chastity. i.e. if 7 days is your favorite cycle, extend it to 9 days for awhile. His body will get used to this, then after a few months, then you can go for 11 days. This will maximize his sexual frustration and tension, as well as lend some variety to the experience. (Don’t forget to edge and tease him!)
Hahahaha. “A few months”. You are funny.
My wife wasn’t a big believer in the “ease into things” approach. More like “throw ya of the cliff” approach. Much more exciting lol.
@Brian
My complements on your discipline. If I were locked for more than a week, I’d be climbing the walls.
That’s what I said … a few months ago.
4.5