Long time reader. Finally registered

Hello. I am not sure where to start but I have been an avid reader of your blog for quite some time. My husband and I have been married for almost ten years and during that time our marriage and sex life has experienced its ups and downs like any other. 

He has an important job with a trucking company running their logistics. He is in charge of what trucks go where and making sure that the right things get to the right places when they are supposed to be there. He does enjoy his job but confessed that he feels like he doesn't have control since his job consists of so many moving pieces all of the time. That lack of control at work bleeds over into wanting to feel like things are controlled at home. I think you may have said something in one of your blogs about highly stressful jobs pushing guys to cope with their feelings sexually. Honestly your blogs are all so insightful, I really enjoy them and each of them seems to strike a chord with me in a certain way.

My husband was the one that introduced me to your blog probably 18 months or two years ago and sent me a couple of blogs. I found it interesting at the time but it all seemed foreign to me. The woman taking control of sex in the relationship. Limiting the man's masturbation. Even locking his penis in a metal cage. I must be honest and say that it was too much for me to process at the time. Nevertheless he kept sending me blogs that he found interesting and I could tell that he found them to be insightful.

After sending the articles to me, he would always want to discuss them. At length. I would skim each of the articles that he would send and usually respond with something like. "is this what you want" or "do you want me to do this to you" and he would usually say no or simply ask me what I thought about it. Sex was of course an important part of our relationship but I don't need it to be the topic of every nightly conversation! I must admit, I became a bit resentful because it was annoying.  But I would humor him. He found each article to be so compelling, as if he was discovering sex for the first time. I wanted to support his curiosity. One of the blogs mentioned masturbation and I asked him how frequently he masturbates. I was shocked to hear that he masturbated on a daily basis. Sometimes twice in a day. 

Then one day we were out at a sex shop and saw one of these cages. I asked him if we should buy it and he said "if you want to" so I did. The woman behind the counter chuckled as she processed our purchase and said poor guy to me. I laughed as well. I fiddled with it while we were driving home. Once we got home, I told him that I wanted him to put it on. I needed to see how this device worked. It took much longer than it should have, getting the right pieces in the right spot and figuring out how to get his balls in here, his penis in there and then figure out how to push the pieces together and then twist the key in the lock. It was pretty intense and we were both laughing by the end of it. How do people do this? I handed him the key and laughed a bit as he stood in front of me nude. 

Fast forward about six months and we were using it very frequently. Previous to the cage, he had mood swings and some relationship issues that we going to counseling for. The cage brought things under control and I felt more of the intensity of his attention than when we were first dating. Since then, we have tried pegging which is another thing that has completely revolutionized communication and intimacy in our relationship. I am a plus size girl. My self confidence has reflected my body image and I have felt so inferior to society's image of perfection. Due to the recent changes in our relationship I now see myself as a very sexual person and initiate sex much more frequently than my husband. I now get so much more intimacy, love and emotion from sex that it has taken on a much greater meaning for me. Sex also means so many more activities than it did previously. I could use a strapon on him. He could use a strapon with me. I could masturbate while he is locked up watching me (I love watching the frustration on his face with this one). I could give him a ruined orgasm (thanks for introducing me to this one). I used to see sex in black and white and you have highhandedly introduced me to the rainbow of colors that sex can be.

I finally registered for your site because I felt like I had something to say to you and anyone else who is reading. What I thought was a middle aged, overweight husband turning into a kinky pervert seems to be something so much deeper and more rewarding than I ever though. We both share a sexy secret and I am very proud of the sexual energy that this pervy, confident, overweight couple enjoys together. 

Your website is called evolving your man but evolving your intimacy or evolving your relationship would be so much more accurate. If you are a woman reading this blog and thinking "I could never do this" "this is ridiculous". Just be open minded and give it a try. Your life might just change in ways that you never thought possible.