It starts like many other story boy meet girl they fall in love and get married have children and so on.
Some where along the line she starts saying no to sex, the first times it dosent hurt but after a while it starts to.
It it isnt only thing, something else is also missing.
I felt invisible, unloved and that i had no value.
I spoke to a friend and found out i long to play out some of my kinks, they helped me build up the courage to speak to my wife about this.
I did and it went well and after a while we got to talk about how we could improve our relationship, we have always had a flr aspect and we decided to take it further.
I took me almost an year within flm to build up the courage to tell the truth about regarding my opning up emotions.
She thought i had been unfaithful but that was not the truth, i cryed like a child then i told here the real reason.
My friend didnt only help me out my kinks, they stoped me from commiting suicide that was how far i had fallen.
My wife and i now in a flm and we both loving it.
So what is the point of my story more then introducing us ?
If someone truly loves you, you can hurt them real bad and scar them.
We all make mistakes but through communication, love and tendernes we can fix most off them.
thanks for sharing
It's crazy the amount of impact a waning vanilla sex life has. If we compartmentalized it to just one small cog in the wheel it seems such a logical thing to fix rather than changing the wheel to FLR.
I can relate to getting to the final straw before throwing the hail mary and instituting drastic changes. But I'm on forums conversing with people looking for advice because, it's all better, but not quite good.
Good that you found a plan and while it's FLR in practice, I infer than she added some due attention, care, and support you required all along.
We will look back at our sex and sexuality in 25 or 30 years with absolute amazement. We have so much to understand and the more I learn, the more I realize just how much learning we still have ahead of us.
Thank you for sharing your story, JM. Most problems we simply solve through an iterative process of identifying the source or symptoms and testing various potential solutions. Often we don't give them much thought - they simply resolve. At 22 years into the relationship, 19 years married, I saw that we had a problem that wasn't going to fix itself. I still go back and forth in trying to identify an underlying cause or source - was it a broader relationship problem that spilled-over into the bedroom, or was it a bedroom problem that spilled-over into the rest of the relationship? I'm still not sure. You may wonder the same thing about your relationship.
@lil-c Thanks for your answer.
I think it was a little of both, it was to hard for her to work full time and share chores and some other personal stuff.
And she was afraid the children would walk in on us.
Me knowing the reasons and her knowing i support her 100% and absolute no pressure on her have helped.
Things have improved alot and we are moving forward.