There are quite a few medical conditions relating to male ejaculation; Premature Ejacultation, Inhibited Ejaculation and Retarded Ejaculation are just a few. Interestingly enough, every single one of them lists the number one cause of the condition as mental. Many of them suggest psychologists to get to underlying root causes or past emotional trauma. Several of them do suggest some sort of medical concerns, and this is by no means a substitute for medical attention. This is simply a method of helping to take control of your sexual experience with a loving partner.
Sometimes ejaculation doesn’t happen exactly when you want it to. Sometimes he finishes too soon, sometimes he takes too long. Finding the perfect medium can be difficult to reach and that can be frustrating for both partners.
Most ladies can achieve multiple orgasms but I don’t think anyone would argue that the fun cums to an end, at least for a while when he finishes. Training (or evolving) your man can be incredible for both of you and is extremely easy to do using positive reinforcement. This is very easy to do and can come naturally in a very short time.
How do I start?
Positive reinforcement is very simple, you provide praise when the desired behavior happens. If he cums when you want him to, give him praise. If he doesn’t cum when you want him to, withhold praise. You need to start by subconsciously associating the pleasure and hormonal rush from his ejaculation with your praise. For about a month, use verbal cues every time he has an orgasm. Whether this is from mutual masturbation or sex, it doesn’t matter. You just want to build a bond in his head.
What kind of verbal cues?
You can do anything you like, whatever comes natural. It can be “cum for me” followed by praise or compliments. Perhaps just some moans of approval would be enough. In a previous blog called creating a fetish, I tried using a dog clicker although I ended up giving that up since I never seemed to have the clicker with me at the right moment so I didn’t get too far with that project. The reality is, this isn’t about creating a fetish, it is about conditioning him to subconsciously want to do what you want.
If he finishes too soon
If he finishes too soon, simply withhold praise until you are ready for him to ejaculate. If he ejaculates without your praise, you simply don’t offer it. Unfortunately the ejaculation itself is positive reinforcement but he will crave your praise and recognize your displeasure and absence of praise. If your fella is notoriously trigger happy, you may need to do a few sessions of mutual masturbation to build that link. You may even need to do refreshers as time goes on to help that bond get stronger.
If he takes too long
Some guys take forever to finish. I don’t know about you but sex that leaves me sore is no fun at all. Sometimes I am in the mood for a quickie and other times I crave the marathon sex. When he does cum from sex or mutual masturbation simply give him praise at that time. If he takes too long, simply stop sex when you are done. Don’t scold him, simply tell him that you are done and move on to something else. If you use a cage, this is a good opportunity to return him to the cage until next time. If you treat it as a negative, if can become a self-compounding cycle since he will put too much pressure on himself to cum. The best method is simply to treat it as no big deal and cut things off whenever you decide to do so.
What sort of pitfalls?
What could get in the way of your positive reinforcement training? The biggest obstacle would be for him to receive the orgasm without your voice or verbal cues being present. Masturbation or sex without the verbal cue would undermine and potentially remove the conditioning that you are setting into place. With time, the hope is that he is not able to orgasm without your cue.
I’ve tried it and it works well! As a reader of this blog, you know that we do separate orgasm from sex and this serves us very well in our relationship. I won’t go into the details but you can read about it on this blog. I do provide my conditioned response during Kevin’s weekly orgasm and I usually accompany the verbal cue with touching of his body. He does not ejaculate without me present so there isn’t much concern about masturbation getting in the way. So far, it does seem to be working wonderfully. Do you have any thoughts on this? Have you tried something similar?
Here is a great podcast about this subject. Give it a listen if you are interested in learning more!