I've been trying to become more active on my twitter and I've come across yet another artist that I love and want to share with you. @burdle does some awesome sketches about chastity and small penis humiliation that really bring out the emotion and the fantasy of this popular fetish. I'll be sprinkling a few of his sketches in with this blog, please check out his twitter if you like these work, he has tons of great stuff just like them. A big thanks for letting me use them!
SPH or small penis humiliation is a fetish that is popular among many men because the penis is so closely related to his perception of his own vitality and manliness. Since pleasing a woman is important to most men, a larger member seems like it would be the key to being able to satisfy a woman. Fetishes are the body's way of turning pain into pleasure. In some cases, this is physical pain and other cases it is emotional pain. This can be feelings of powerlessness turning into chastity or bondage fetishes. The body actually makes those feelings feel arousing which helps as a coping mechanism and actually makes us seek out our greatest fear for the arousal that it inspires.
Men produce more sperm, have more forceful ejaculations and have higher testosterone when they feel competitive to other men. SPH and associated fetishes play directly into the theory of sperm competition and give the man an enormous rush. Despite feeling humiliated, men with a SPH fetish will likely get very hard when you play with this fetish. Start with some gentle teasing and push it as you watch his responses. There is really no harm from playing with this fetish if you go slowly and remind him afterwards that he is more than enough man for you. Aftercare, as it were.
This is something deeply rooted in the male psyche, we all know that penis size alone is certainly not the determining factor in the selection of a boyfriend or husband. I personally think that penis size plays some sort of part in the formative years of a man and the way he relates to women. If he has a huge one, every sexual experience was probably accompanied by ooh's and aah's as his partners examined the monster unfolding in front of their eyes. That validation time and time again probably fueled a massive amount of confidence about his sexual prowess. On the flip size, men with smaller ones probably developed more emotional relationships prior to unboxing their goods once they realized that it wasn't going to garner the oohs and aahs of their larger counterparts.
To men I think size determines their sexual confidence. Men with large ones feel proud and men with smaller ones feel ashamed. While from personal experience I know that a larger one absolutely does not guarantee a good time, it does seem to offer a different type of sex. I wrote a blog some time back where I professed to like the smaller ones better. I'll save you the reading but I find that I am capable of a deeper connection with a man with a normal sized penis. A larger penis might be fun for a fling or a one night stand but I don't feel like Mr. Big Penis is capable of a deep intimate connection like Mr. Normal Penis might be. Do I have proof of my assumption? Absolutely not, it is drawn from a sample size of me and a few friends that I've discussed this topic with. …
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so far i didn’t feel below, but after reading your blog i realized i was in the category of men with … it’s interesting how the fear of not being satisfying makes SPH exciting …
Porn conditioned us to some fetishes, including this one. To me, in the end, this was about giving women more power over me.
Years ago, i had a period of time when i discovered cuckolding, and had very vivid (wet) dreams about an ex-gf and how she ‘made me’ come out to our common female friends as a small-feminized-penis. Curiously, the most exciting part was the humiliation, that feeling of inadequacy followed by our friend’s hugs as ‘one of them’.
It’s weird how it works, but it’s a very addictive feeling. Have a very alpha friend whose wife had severe bipolar disorder, she pretty much lost inhibitions & controls every so often and she’d buy ridiculous amounts of stuff … and had affairs. It was hard for my friend, it got to a point where it made no sense, and i knew he was in a way enjoying this humiliation. The ‘breaking point’ was when one of her lovers posted in her Facebook some nudes of her doing a bj. He divorced & then came back to his alpha self.
I suppose you can say that porn conditions these types of fetishes but does it really? I think that porn probably speeds up the conditioning just as social media polarizes our political views. We already had those views but it pushes them to be more intense or extreme.
Humiliation is a very strong emotion and it has the power to make even the strongest of us want to crawl under a rock.
I can see clear roots to my fetishes showing up when I was 7 or 8 in my various behaviors and how I liked to play and fantisize. Porn added shape if you like to some of them where I might not have been able quite explore all its edges or find paths to grow.
Emma, I agree with you. I don’t think porn conditions us to have fetishes; rather it leads us to discover our latent kinks. At least that’s how it has felt to me. I am turned on by kinks that involve some form of humiliation. I began to erotize the humiliation of being spanked at a very early age based on actual spanking experiences. When I discovered spanking porn as an adult, and I realized that adult spanking was something people did, I developed a full blown F/M spanking kink. But that discovery led me on to the further discovery that it was not just being spanked that turned me on, it was the emotional states associated with it: embarrassment, exposure, vulnerability, disempowerment, etc. That discovery opened the door to a host of femdom kinks which evoke similar feelings: CFNM, domestic servitude, orgasm denial, cuckolding, and related emasculation kinks like feminization and SPH. I don’t feel that I acquired those kinks through exposure to femdom porn; I feel that the porn led me to sexual self discovery.
Emma, thank you for a wonderfully understanding post about a powerful but embarrassing kink some of us have. And thank you for sharing and drawing attention to that wonderful SPH art. I don’t fully understand why I am so turned on by SPH. I am one of those guys you discuss in the post: my penis is of average size, but for some reason I have always felt insecure about its adequacy. I think maybe my insecurity about penis size symbolizes deeper insecurities about my masculinity. Some people theorize having a small penis tends to make men submissive and having a big penis tends to make them dominant. I think there may be some truth to that. But maybe the causality is reversed for the majority of us guys whose penis sizes are close to the average. A naturally dominant guy may think his average sized penis is God’s gift to women, while a submissive guy of similar endowment will feel insecure. I feel lucky that my wife enjoys and has become skilled at SPH. It is incredibly erotic to feel loved and accepted by a wife who teases me about my “cute little cock.” And performing cunnilingus feels 100 times sexier to a submissive man when he is encouraged to compensate for his inadequate penis with his tongue.
Emma, when I commented yesterday, I forgot to mention that I strongly agree with your rejection of the blatant racism of a lot of SPH and cuckold porn. I would have no problem with being cuckolded by a black man, and my wife does find lots of black men attractive, but the stereotype of the “big black bull” dehumanizes black men, in my opinion, by turning them into a fetish. By the way, I have done quite a bit of research about penis size because of my SPH kink, and the most reliable research about penis size shows that it generally correlates with a man’s height, not with his race. In other words, penis size is generally in proportion to a man’s overall body size, whatever his racial background.
Part of the journey of male maturity is accepting your place in the natural order of attraction. There are plenty of men more handsome, well endowed and more skilled lovers than ourselves. Knowing and accepting that takes away needless anxiety and leads to a more fulfilling life for yourself and certainly the one you love. A mature male interested in the needs and fulfillment of his wife welcomes whatever opportunities she has to do this not as competition but as a partnership.
So much here to love! With a tip o’ the cap, I must say that it’s one of the three best postings I’ve ever seen on the subject, and its by far the most comprehensive. Considering that some that didn’t reach the medal platform were written by PhD psychologists who specialize in human sexuality and relationships, that’s sayin’ something.
Sexuality in general, but kinks in particular, is the one area of human endeavor or interest for which each generation had to start from scratch and muddle through trial and error until only very recently. Now, it’s a legitimate field of study, but there’s still scant little quality research, because stodgy institutions of higher learning and their trustees and benefactors are still squeamish about having such research associated with their hallowed, and often ivy-covered, halls of academia. It’s a slog, but we’re getting there.
When I was a teenager, knowledgeable enough to know that I was just about finished growing and developing and that I’d enter dating and sexual relationships and spend the rest of my life with a shockingly undersized penis, how was I to use for mutual satisfaction that already-present craving for my size to be the subject of teasing and humiliation? Something as simple as “sex positions for small penis,” for which one can now find a hundred good returns from a Google search, did not exist, not unless you could put your hands on a copy of the Kama Sutra and decipher its code for making the best of a “lowest union” matching.
Much of what you write in this posting is supported by research, and it’s all true. I’m looking forward to the results of the first study to try to quantify incrementally the effect on self-confidence that each unit of penis length and/or thickness has. I’m a participant in one such study. It’s well established that men with below-average-size penises have fewer lifetime sexual partners than their better endowed peers do, and that we masturbate more frequently, but no one’s ever before had the initiative or funding to quantify how each inch up or down may induce us to be out there engaging with women or staying home alone beating off to SPH porn.
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hello, for my part my penis measures between 4 and 5 inches … I have been erect throughout reading this blog … how to interpret this ??
I guess it sounds like you are reading the right blog… ?
so far i didn’t feel below, but after reading your blog i realized i was in the category of men with … it’s interesting how the fear of not being satisfying makes SPH exciting …
*men with small penis …*
I have trouble writing it
Are you the very famous Kevin we’ve all heard so much about?
He’s got a great name but he is a different Kevin.
I figured as much, but one never knows unless one asks. *smile
Porn conditioned us to some fetishes, including this one. To me, in the end, this was about giving women more power over me.
Years ago, i had a period of time when i discovered cuckolding, and had very vivid (wet) dreams about an ex-gf and how she ‘made me’ come out to our common female friends as a small-feminized-penis. Curiously, the most exciting part was the humiliation, that feeling of inadequacy followed by our friend’s hugs as ‘one of them’.
It’s weird how it works, but it’s a very addictive feeling. Have a very alpha friend whose wife had severe bipolar disorder, she pretty much lost inhibitions & controls every so often and she’d buy ridiculous amounts of stuff … and had affairs. It was hard for my friend, it got to a point where it made no sense, and i knew he was in a way enjoying this humiliation. The ‘breaking point’ was when one of her lovers posted in her Facebook some nudes of her doing a bj. He divorced & then came back to his alpha self.
I suppose you can say that porn conditions these types of fetishes but does it really? I think that porn probably speeds up the conditioning just as social media polarizes our political views. We already had those views but it pushes them to be more intense or extreme.
Humiliation is a very strong emotion and it has the power to make even the strongest of us want to crawl under a rock.
I can see clear roots to my fetishes showing up when I was 7 or 8 in my various behaviors and how I liked to play and fantisize. Porn added shape if you like to some of them where I might not have been able quite explore all its edges or find paths to grow.
Emma, I agree with you. I don’t think porn conditions us to have fetishes; rather it leads us to discover our latent kinks. At least that’s how it has felt to me. I am turned on by kinks that involve some form of humiliation. I began to erotize the humiliation of being spanked at a very early age based on actual spanking experiences. When I discovered spanking porn as an adult, and I realized that adult spanking was something people did, I developed a full blown F/M spanking kink. But that discovery led me on to the further discovery that it was not just being spanked that turned me on, it was the emotional states associated with it: embarrassment, exposure, vulnerability, disempowerment, etc. That discovery opened the door to a host of femdom kinks which evoke similar feelings: CFNM, domestic servitude, orgasm denial, cuckolding, and related emasculation kinks like feminization and SPH. I don’t feel that I acquired those kinks through exposure to femdom porn; I feel that the porn led me to sexual self discovery.
I like the one-liners.
I had fun coming up with them! Glad you enjoyed!!!
Very interesting and I fully agree with your comment.
Good god these visuals are hot and relatable.
Love the pictures!
Emma, thank you for a wonderfully understanding post about a powerful but embarrassing kink some of us have. And thank you for sharing and drawing attention to that wonderful SPH art. I don’t fully understand why I am so turned on by SPH. I am one of those guys you discuss in the post: my penis is of average size, but for some reason I have always felt insecure about its adequacy. I think maybe my insecurity about penis size symbolizes deeper insecurities about my masculinity. Some people theorize having a small penis tends to make men submissive and having a big penis tends to make them dominant. I think there may be some truth to that. But maybe the causality is reversed for the majority of us guys whose penis sizes are close to the average. A naturally dominant guy may think his average sized penis is God’s gift to women, while a submissive guy of similar endowment will feel insecure. I feel lucky that my wife enjoys and has become skilled at SPH. It is incredibly erotic to feel loved and accepted by a wife who teases me about my “cute little cock.” And performing cunnilingus feels 100 times sexier to a submissive man when he is encouraged to compensate for his inadequate penis with his tongue.
Emma, when I commented yesterday, I forgot to mention that I strongly agree with your rejection of the blatant racism of a lot of SPH and cuckold porn. I would have no problem with being cuckolded by a black man, and my wife does find lots of black men attractive, but the stereotype of the “big black bull” dehumanizes black men, in my opinion, by turning them into a fetish. By the way, I have done quite a bit of research about penis size because of my SPH kink, and the most reliable research about penis size shows that it generally correlates with a man’s height, not with his race. In other words, penis size is generally in proportion to a man’s overall body size, whatever his racial background.
Part of the journey of male maturity is accepting your place in the natural order of attraction. There are plenty of men more handsome, well endowed and more skilled lovers than ourselves. Knowing and accepting that takes away needless anxiety and leads to a more fulfilling life for yourself and certainly the one you love. A mature male interested in the needs and fulfillment of his wife welcomes whatever opportunities she has to do this not as competition but as a partnership.
So much here to love! With a tip o’ the cap, I must say that it’s one of the three best postings I’ve ever seen on the subject, and its by far the most comprehensive. Considering that some that didn’t reach the medal platform were written by PhD psychologists who specialize in human sexuality and relationships, that’s sayin’ something.
Sexuality in general, but kinks in particular, is the one area of human endeavor or interest for which each generation had to start from scratch and muddle through trial and error until only very recently. Now, it’s a legitimate field of study, but there’s still scant little quality research, because stodgy institutions of higher learning and their trustees and benefactors are still squeamish about having such research associated with their hallowed, and often ivy-covered, halls of academia. It’s a slog, but we’re getting there.
When I was a teenager, knowledgeable enough to know that I was just about finished growing and developing and that I’d enter dating and sexual relationships and spend the rest of my life with a shockingly undersized penis, how was I to use for mutual satisfaction that already-present craving for my size to be the subject of teasing and humiliation? Something as simple as “sex positions for small penis,” for which one can now find a hundred good returns from a Google search, did not exist, not unless you could put your hands on a copy of the Kama Sutra and decipher its code for making the best of a “lowest union” matching.
Much of what you write in this posting is supported by research, and it’s all true. I’m looking forward to the results of the first study to try to quantify incrementally the effect on self-confidence that each unit of penis length and/or thickness has. I’m a participant in one such study. It’s well established that men with below-average-size penises have fewer lifetime sexual partners than their better endowed peers do, and that we masturbate more frequently, but no one’s ever before had the initiative or funding to quantify how each inch up or down may induce us to be out there engaging with women or staying home alone beating off to SPH porn.