In our culture, the female form embodies sexy and men are not permitted the luxury of feeling sexy. Did you know that only 12.1 percent of men between the ages of 18 and 65 in committed relationships feel desired by their partner? That same study found that 95 percent of men found it very important to feel desired. The gap of unmet needs is incredible and what's worse, nobody talks about it! So why on earth are females the only ones that are allowed to feel sexy and desired?
A haircut, a fresh shave or a shower. All of these things will help a guy feel a boost of self confidence about his presentation. Need to feel good about yourself, a nice shave and a haircut will do it. How about a signature scent? I'll throw exercise and fitness into grooming as well. Sleep can make you feel sexy too! Waking up fully rested and ready to face the day? Yes please!
There is no question that clothing makes us feel sexy. Sometimes I like to try on clothes just because I like the way I feel when I wear them. Men in suits or better yet, uniforms. Yum! Here is the problem, those two things I just mentioned don't accentuate their bodies, they accentuate their careers and cater to our sense of security rather than accentuating physical traits. A nice, well fitted suit implies success and wealth. A uniform implies a commanding presence and a good job. A look into gay culture shows some fashion built around accentuating the male body but very little in the hetero world. I think the male body is beautiful and I think we should start allowing men to dress sexy. Women have lingerie and let's be honest, Halloween for women is more of a sexy-dress-up competition than a scary mask competition like it is for the boys. Kev and I have done some dress-up play at home and Kev and I find it funny more than anything but the fact that female sexy clothing exists but is absent for men is telling.
If clothing makes us feel sexy, what about the absence of clothing? If you are comfortable with your body then you should love being nude. If you don't feel comfortable with your body, feel free to email me a body pic and I will give you at least one heartfelt compliment. Every body is beautiful, it really is.
As women, we generally compliment each other. We expect compliments from our guys but we (myself included) aren't great at returning compliments to our fellas. Guys don't get compliments like we do and it needs to change. Men (all humans) like to feel validated especially when it is clear that he made an effort or is proud of something. Be intentional about giving genuine compliments about everything from his intelligence to his butt.
What could make him feel more desirable than eagerly initiating sexual contact and coupling it with a compliment. This doesn't need to result in sex every time. This morning for example, Kev woke up with my hand on his cage (it is Locktober after all) and a compliment about how sexy and manly his black cage looks on his body. I kissed down his chest and blew my warm breath on his cage. It didn't go any further than that but guess what, that two seconds of effort made him start his day with a smile. Why should I keep my feelings about his sexual desirability a secret? He is hot and I liked what I saw this morning so I let him know. When you initiate sex and accompany it with a compliment, it is something you need. Feeling wanted is lame, make it clear that he is needed. Men don't know what to do with compliments since they are generally rare so that is the part that will take you from a C effort to an A+. …
