A Deep Connection

Relationships are all about connection. Sometimes we have busy lives, mismatched libidos or even conflict that steps between us. Our emotions play an enormous part of our ability to connect with our partners. Few of our partners are out to cause us emotional or physical harm. If you are convinced that your partner isn't looking out for your best interest, get out!

Be your partner's best friend! The stronger the connection that you have, the stronger the relationship and sex will be. This absolutely must come first and foremost. If your relationship cannot be the primary relationship in your life, you will never be able to feel the complete fulfillment of intimacy and closeness. Ensure that you both feel like your relationship is balanced. Although that balance will ebb and flow, the delicate equilibrium will ensure that neither of you gets resentful toward the other. If you begin to feel like something is getting off balance, communicate and get things back on track.

Play is very important in a relationship. You are either working or you are playing. If your relationship doesn't feel like play then it feels like work. If it doesn't feel like work then it feels like play. Playfully tease each other both in and out of the bedroom. A couple that plays together stays together.

Physical needs are so very important. I will be the first to say that sometimes I don't want sex but I realize that sex would make his life easier and less stressful. This could mean anything from an early orgasm, a nice pegging session, PIV sex, blowjob, allow him to go down on me or even just some cuddling and physical closeness. Physical needs are very unspecific. Few of us absolutely must have PIV sex or oral sex, typically we just want the feelings that come along with experiencing closeness with your partner.

In our relationship we have so many options for physical intimacy and we are always open to adding new ones that give us the feelings of physical intimacy. He may have his preferences and I am sure that you do too but some sort of physical attention is better than no attention. If you aren't experiencing some sort of sexual attention with each other at least three times a week, I implore you to consider making your relationship a greater priority. If you are in a rut, you may feel like you don't need more contact but I don't feel like you can sustain a healthy relationship without a strong physical connection. Long distance relationships are especially challenging so make sure you do your best with skype sessions and other methods to keep that physical connection alive.

Yes, I control my boyfriend's orgasms. No. I don't do it to be mean or controlling. I do it because it works! I love him and I want us to experience the best parts of each other. There are so many changes that men go through when they experience an orgasm. Many of them are great but some of them influence the way that we are able to connect in a meaningful way. We have all kinds of wonderful sex but he is typically limited to one orgasm per week. No masturbation by himself although we do masturbate together sometimes. He is getting better with his self control although we've decided that he will never be 100% because the male drive is simply too strong. We use a device to help us control his urges many weeks but not always. We've built a great level of trust and he knows that he must ask permission before ejaculating - even if this means sending a text to me!…