There’s something wildly liberating about standing in your power, isn’t there? Especially when you’ve crafted a relationship that truly supports your emotional, physical and sexual needs with a heart full of compersion. I’m talking about having your cake, eating it too. This isn’t just about kinky fun or cuckolding clichés.
This is about evolution, female empowerment, emotional intimacy, and the incredible satisfaction of designing a relationship that reflects your truth and feeds your deepest drives as a woman. Let’s talk science, psychology, desire, and how being adored by a stable, nurturing man while surrendering to a dominant lover can give you everything you’ve been told you couldn’t have.
Short term mating is exactly what it sounds like: sex or romantic experiences that are designed to be passionate, temporary, and driven by pure desire. Think intense chemistry, heart-pounding anticipation, that breathless kind of sex where you’re not in your head at all—you’re just in your body.
And while we often assume men are the ones who want this, research shows that women crave short term mating for very different, but just as powerful reasons. Studies show that women who feel safe choose short-term mates based on physical dominance, confidence, and sexual prowess—not because they’re shallow, but because this taps into something deeply biological.
Our female drives have two very different sides. We want safety, and we also want erotic power but both of these drives contradict each other. We want someone who’ll hold our hand when we cry, and someone who’ll slap our ass and throw us into the mattress. The long-term husband? He’s usually the former. The short-term bull/boyfriend is usually the latter.
Being a woman in today’s world means juggling a hundred needs at once. We want connection, stability, two and a half kids, a home, a white picket fence, financial stability and oh yes, earth-shaking orgasms. And here’s the thing: expecting one man to be everything is setting yourself up for unmet needs.…
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Emma, I’m the husband you wrote about in this blog post. It took me ten years to convince my wife to take a Lover/ Bull. You are right about women being in their head with all sorts of things going on. I have been married to the same woman for forty years. I will talk about her head. This was my wife ( I can’t take a Lover in till I lose weight/ I don’t have time to take a Lover/ I have to many things that I have to do) the list went on and on.Biggest issue was body image. So this is what happened. I talked her into swinging. We met a great couple on line and they took us under their wing. This couple took us to bed and swingers party’s. Guess what happened my wife found out that other men wanted her in the most raw and sexual way. She loved the attention and the Hot sex. To drive me crazy she would say ( Why didn’t we do this when we were younger). Maybe the younger generation of women are more open to creating this kind of relationship and I know you have posted about why it’s good for the wife to take a leap of faith with a Lover/Bull. You don’t have to preach to the husbands. You some how have to get the wife on board. It’s not as easy as it sounds.
Thank you so much for sharing and wow, forty years? That’s truly amazing.
Body image is they key and is a very real hangup. I totally get where your wife was coming from. We carry so much pressure to look a certain way before we feel “allowed” to be desired. But the moment she saw that other men craved her exactly as she is?
Game changer.
That kind of attention can heal parts of us we didn’t even know were broken.
It takes trust, time, conversation and the right kind of support but when she gets there? Watch out. 🔥
Watch out is putting it mildly. She has so much powerful sexual energy she puts out into the universe it’s frightening. When we go out it seems like every man is giving her a hard look. The Bulls come right up to her and start flirting even when I’m standing right next to her. If he was the right look and attitude/personality she will get his number or give him her number. She is all powerful. I love it.
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You are a powerful Goddess, Emma. You deserve to have it all-and it seems like you’ve gotten it! I like to think I could be a soft husband who could share my wife if she wanted it (I worship the ground she walks on). I really enjoy your writing and philosophy.
Short Term Mating Within Long Term Relationships – It Just Works
Please allow me to play devil’s advocate on this: Perhaps it really does work (I don’t know) but – – Does it work just as well if HE is the one having these short term mating sessions, with her as the bystander?
Personally I think “Short term mating” is a bit redundant. Just call it “Mating”. I think the sex she has with a bull as opposed to her partner is fundamentally different in this scenario. While I’m not in favor of having a child with a bull i do think sex with a bull is more about primal lust and surrendering to him and letting him breed you. Sex with her partner on the other hand is more about emotional connection and not so much about “mating”.
This can also be tied into the condom discussion. Having your partner using a condom while your bulls can penetrate you raw is symbolic and make clear the different purposes of sex. Connection as opposed to mating. It doesn’t even have to be humiliating although it will definitely be a bit humbling.
100% on point. Couldn’t agree more. Don’t forget women are more emotionally intelligent enough to continue showing up in their relationship with her husband versus men who want to have a mistress.