My boyfriend Kev and I invited our mutual friend Andrew to stay with us for what we expected to be a few months. A few months turned in to nearly a year but we had a great time! We really did have a great time together and we all seemed to mesh well together, both in and out of the bedroom. One of the things that created an odd dynamic is the pseudo-gay-cooties that the two fellas indirectly expressed at the beginning. Our society has such a different view of homosexuality depending on gender. If two women kiss, they are just flirting or having fun but if two men kiss they are gay. Why is it that two men involved in a sexual experience together is somehow gay? Are they scared? Intimidated? Are they afraid that they will be turned on by each other?
Each time the two guys would get naked in front of each other, there would be an aura of awkwardness and they would refuse to make eye contact, instead directing my attention toward me. Now don’t get me wrong, I am an whore for attention and I ate that up for our first dozen or two encounters together but after a while the tension between the two guys started to make things weird. They always made sure to be on opposite sides with me as a buffer between them and it made things less fun. I didn’t really notice the subconscious dance that the two of them were doing to stay away from each other yet close to me. Eventually I’d had enough so we did something absolutely crazy. Are you ready for this? We communicated about it! I asked them to sit with me in bed, all three of us were nude. I started by asking them both if they were gay. Both guys of course responded that they were not gay. I asked both of them to give each other three compliments about the other’s naked body. After a few compliments from both guys about butts abs and penises, I asked them if they felt weird being naked around each other. Both guys stuttered a bit with their responses and clearly they did. I asked them both what they liked about watching the other fuck me. We got some more responses, more sexual this time. Andrew asked what I was hoping to get with the line of questioning, was I looking to have the two guys hook up? He seemed a bit annoyed but I explained that I was just looking to get over the awkwardness. I told him that I wouldn’t mind if they wanted to hook up in whatever context that meant. Oral, touching, anal, I am just looking for everyone to enjoy each other. I do enjoy watching two guys touch. As many men like watching lesbian porn, I enjoy watching gay porn. Two beautiful men, pleasing each other? Yes please. I’m not intent on making anyone stretch any sexual barriers but if they feel comfortable enough to do so, I would encourage it. I just want to break down the invisible wall of awkwardness in the bedroom and allow them to explore sexuality in a no judgement zone.
I asked Kev what he liked about watching Andrew and I. Kev responded that he liked watching me orgasm while Andrew fucked me, he felt like he could share in the genuine pleasure that I was feeling. I asked the same to Andrew about watching Kev and I. Interestingly Andrew responded that he really enjoyed watching me peg Kev. He said that it was one of the most intimate things that he had ever seen. I feel the same way and it made me smile to know that it looked as sexy to him as it feels to me. Andrew also said that he found the chastity and teasing dynamic that Kev and I enjoy together fascinating and incredibly erotic. He felt incredibly powerful, dominant and lucky when he and I were together while Kev was locked.
I asked both guys if they would humor me with a little bit of awkwardness-reduction play. They looked at me, visibly nervous both both agreed. I directed them to sit across from each other naked while playing with themselves. Once they were both hard, I got between them and helped by taking both of them into my mouth, rubbing both of their cocks together in the process. They didn’t back away despite their slight swordplay. I pulled them both out of my mouth and asked them to reach down and stroke each other. Both of them reluctantly complied and they were half heartedly tugging on each other. I stepped back, put my hand over my mouth and jokingly commented, “Look, it didn’t turn you gay!” All three of us laughed and I think they got the point. We hopped into bed and had a much less awkward heterosexual romp in the sheets together.
Previous to this discussion, most of our conversations were about jealousy and top dog/alpha male type issues which we needed to squash right away. Those types of issues were absolute deal breakers to the type of situation that we were all hoping for. Some friendly male competition is alright but I didn’t want anything toxic in the bedroom. Kev went through a few days where he felt that Andrew was a threat to our relationship. Andrew went through a few days where he got possessive of me. Both guys didn’t love the fact that I didn’t necessarily want group sex every time since that means someone is the odd man out. Eventually both of them got used to sitting on the bench from time to time.
So how did it go? How did things change after addressing the elephant in the bedroom? Yes, things slowly got better, I didn’t turn either of them gay or bisexual and that of course wasn’t my intention. I don’t need them to become heterosexual or even heteroflexible but I needed to address the awkwardness. Once they realized that neither of them was going to magically become gay by smacking the other’s butt or giving a friendly stroke or two, the tension simply evaporated. After a while, night time cuddles didn’t always require that I lay in the middle as the no-homo buffer. I got both guys to agree to try a few things outside of their comfort zones but that is a story for a different blog.
You aren’t gay or bi if you are having a threesome, you really aren’t. The MFM threesome is called the devil’s threesome out of an outdated gender stigma about female sexual pleasure. YES we are female and YES we are allowed to enjoy sex. Female sexuality should be empowering and not demeaning despite literally everything in our society telling us otherwise.
I’ve received emails with comments like “I find the idea of pleasing two guys at once intimidating”. Guess what, you aren’t pleasing two guys! For the most part, they are focusing on you and you are typically just along for the ride. The ratio of holes and poles in a MFM vs FMF threesome is much better and allows it to be a much more sensual experience with things just lining up for all of the different positions. Most men are highly motivated to please a female so two guys usually does equate to twice the pleasure. Guys motivated to please the ladies and those who are open to a MFM type threesome will be more open to the emotional side of sex. Those guys will be more open to communication, less likely to be violent, aggressive and jealous. It is all about keeping all of the relationships in your life positive.
Yes Andrew moved out, I am still working on a blog summing up our experience together over the last year but I have a couple unfinished drafts that I wanted to post first. We knew the day was coming and it was a bittersweet when it actually came. All in all, it was a wonderful experience and we all connected tremendously. We left on wonderful terms and are already making plans to go out and visit him late this summer.