Part two of some user-requested questions from our forum. For the previous blog, you can check out From His Perspective.
I didn't expect to be doing another Q&A session so soon but I guess you all liked my answers the first time around. Thank you for the feedback, I appreciate the words of kindness. I am not sure quite what I expected.
You are currently doing one week at a time on the honor system. How long do you think you can go before you are concerned about betraying Emma's trust?
I really don't know but there are certainly times even at the seven-day schedule where there are temptations. I would be very concerned about anything longer than two weeks. I do really appreciate her trust in me and having the opportunity to show her my reverence for her.
How would Emma punish you if you were to take matters into your own hands?
We haven't discussed it but I expect that the cage would become a very big part of our lives for quite some time. I don't want to let her down, I am really committing myself to the honor system and to Em.…
Interesting and enjoyable series of blog posts, Kevin. Thanks to you and Emma for sharing.
My girlfriend and I are doing it more from a fun, secret, sexy, kinky point of view. So many different approaches. Fun ahoy!
There’s no right or wrong way. Have a great time with it and report back on your experience. Thanks for reading!
I am tickled by how this is not supposed to be a femdom site, but it is full of clear femdom signaling.
* For example, how does pegging constitute evolving him?
* How does spanking or punishing him evolve him?
* Does calling out his “average to below average” penis size seem at all like a form of small penis humiliation? How does that evolve him?
Emma, in the rules of your relationship, are you allowed to have sex with whomever you please whenever you please, but your hubby can only have sex with you and only when you permit it? I am trying to understand how far you two take this game as a couple and what is permitted.
Spank
Hmm. This site isn’t “supposed” to be anything, its just a blog about my experiences. It has clearly gone down the rabbit hole of femdom a few times
We’ve found that the positive motivation works better for us but that’s not to say that any one path is better than others.
I’ve also mentioned in that Kevin does like mild humiliation and I do tease him about it sometimes
In our relationship, we are monogomous and here are some additional thoughts on that topic.
Emma is the Dominant partner here, she calls the shots. Kevin is the sub, he has no say so. He has to accept what Emma chooses. It is Emma’s choice if she wants to cuckold Kevin, she makes the rules. Kevin needs to stay locked and accept this. This helps develop Kevin’s role as a sub and develop his emotional connection with Emma. This is a proper FLR.
Not sure there is a universal definition of a “proper FLR” because it is subjective and defined by the couple involved. Although I suppose each of these statements could be argued as technically true, I suspect that Emma may have a different perspective on the labels implied in each of them. In the end, all that matters is what Emma, Kevin and now Andrew want and need out of their relationship individually and collectively.
Dear Emma, Dear Kevin,
Thank you for explaining his perspective and being so honest. I have to say i am a little bit concerned about two things you said.
„Had a couple of what can best be described as tantrums. I went to bed crying a few times from the sheer frustration and my need for sexual release. She was very clear about this being a term of our relationship. If I didn’t learn to adjust, we were simply over.“
And
„Em is very clear about many of the things in our relationships being non-negotiable.“
Honestly that sound from my perspective that Kevin has to choose between two options that he both doesn’t like.
I althow have a couple of questions.
When you orgasm, do you orgasm through masturbation, a handjob, oral, PIV or something else?
Emma: Do you masturbate on your own, or does Kevin gives you every orgasm you want to have?
That’s correct, I feel like orgasm control is the key to maintaining a happy and healthy relationship. I’ve been clear since very early in our relationship that it’s a “my way or the highway” non negotiable. Kevin didn’t like it at first and after some time has seen some great benefits in himself and in this type of relationship. There are some days when it isn’t his favorite but he agrees that we should continue for the greater good of the relationship.
I typically orgasm through masturbation, and piv. Sometimes (rarely) I orgasm through oral. Kevin typically orgasms with masturbation. Either mutual masturbation, laying in bed beside me or kneeling in front of me. We do other things as well but that’s his typical weekly release.
We’re interested in learing more about the non negotiable part… how did you come to this conclusion and how did Kevin come around to accepting it?
Hi Joe. I think this will answer your question. <3
https://evolvingyourman.com/2019/02/01/starting-out/
It does… and I love your writing style. See, with us, it was different. I got the idea while watching an episode of Californication — you know the one I am talking about. I bought him a cage and started testing the waters – but it always came off and it took weeks for him to put it back on. He’s super worried about going outside the house with it on, worried that the submissive angle of it, so I’m doing my best to figure out how to be more domineering and getting him used to it.
I think you might benefit for a couple of the blogs that I’ve written on teasing. Perhaps if you told him that he needs to wear it for 24 hours if he wants to have sex, perhaps that would give him the motivation to let you lock him up.
When he is locked, have you seen a change in him or has he never been locked long enough to see the changes? A locked man is so addictive after the third day. They get into a zone and it makes the relationship incredible. Communication and affection are at levels that you’ve never seen from him.
You don’t even need to do it constantly like we do, you can just do it from time to time when you feel emotionally disconnected. An amazing way to kick start your intimacy.
Thanks for reading! We are here if you need any advice or suggestions.
This is interesting to see from his point of view. I want to try pegging some time with him but we havent done it yet. Soon.
Love this blog too, as much as the first. I really do love these Q&A’s that you do Emma. thank you.
“It did also help as my mind stopped expecting orgasms with each time we had sex.”
When this happened in our relationship it was an enormous milestone for us. This one thing is the single most beneficial thing in our relationship when it comes to the to the incredible sex my wife and I have now. Who would’ve ever thought that a man would enjoy sex way more after having his orgasms be significantly restricted, and I mean significantly. How crazy is that that the dull ache I get in my balls is enjoyable?
Thank you for this marvelous series of Q&A!
Huh?
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