I admit it. Penises fascinate me. I wouldn't say that most penises are incredibly attractive (sorry guys) but they are shaped to be very practical. Their sizes and shapes are perfect for their designed purpose. I don't typically get instantly aroused when I see a picture of a penis but I do get turned off seeing penises that are generally unkempt or otherwise appealing. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love and appreciate men but penises are tools of the trade. Some men are better with their tools than others but most tools are suitable to get the job done.
There probably isn't such a thing as a perfect penis but I think the proportions of a penis matter. A pencil dick and a can of beans dick are on the opposite ends of the spectrum. Almost like I can be comfortable at 75 degrees or 80 degrees but 60 is far too cold and 100 is far too hot. I've seen and felt my share and I've enjoyed each and every one of them no matter how far things went (or didn't go) with that particular member.
There isn't much mystery when a guy is with a gal in the bedroom for the first time. Men have typically seen the outline of her breasts and aside from the potential for a push-up bra, they aren't much of a surprise. Her butt is typically not much of a surprise either. Feel free to disagree but I think that most vaginas look the same aside from the extent which her labia is inside or outside her body. Men on the other hand are entirely different unless of course you have exchanged nudes prior to doing the dirty. He could be huge or he could have a dinky winky, you never really know for sure.
There really is no correlation between flaccid and erect penis length. Some guys will triple in size when aroused. At the other end of the spectrum, some guys get hard but don't show much difference in size at all. This is extremely fascinating to me. I cant imagine if my hand doubled in size every time I wanted to pick something up. On the female side, we get a bit wet when aroused like mouths watering when we smell delicious food.
I enjoy laying in bed or on the couch cuddling with Kev and tugging him a few times to feel him swell up and hold him while he gets soft in my hands. I do this almost subconsciously sometimes. This never seems to be a problem although he sometimes nudges me for more when he gets hard down there. It rarely leads to more but sometimes things happen after binge watching a Netflix show and teasing him like this for a few hours.
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We’ve been using chastity off and on for about 7/8 years now. I forget exactly when we started. The initial foray into locking his cock up was quite a leap of faith for me as I really wasn’t sure about it at all.
Unfortunately at the time we were starting out there was very little information that was more informative than fanciful, but I was able to read a couple of bits on a site called Tickleberry.com (not sure it’s active now as the last post seems to be around 2013).
Like this site, it took a more down to earth approach in trying to explain why my husband has ‘suddenly’ come up with this weird idea. What I didn’t know at the time was that he hadn’t ‘just’ come up with the idea, but had been interested for some time and if fact already owned a cage that he’d been wearing without my knowledge.
Now whilst I was willing to give it a go and play along with his daft idea, I was concerned that I would be missing out and it was another thing I would be doing to please him sexually. After all his sex drive had always been higher than mine and as it was I was feeling somewhat guilty about not being able to keep up, which is probably why I decided to give it a whirl in the first place. Combine that with the fact that I actually get a huge turn on when I have his dick in my hand and can feel it getting hard, knowing that I’ve done that, and the thought of locking it way wasn’t high on my list of things that would do it for me.
How wrong I was. I didn’t actually take note of how long it took for things to change (could have been three days I don’t remember) but it soon became apparent that there was a shift in our dynamic. And far from it being a turn off, it soon became a turn on for me too. Sure he was getting his rocks off, but so was I. Over a period of time we started to use it more often and for longer. The cages changed to adapt to our new level of usage. What I have noticed is that the longer we have been using chastity, both in terms of duration of single wear and the number of years we have been using chastity, his reactions have changed also.
Whilst I very mush recognise the pattern in our earlier sessions that Emma outlines, I have found that him being in chastity has normalised over time. Now he is caged most of the time with very brief periods out of the cage. This is often a matter of hours, sometimes over night and occasionally for some days. He no longer asks for his release at all and if I’m edging him will ask me not to let him cum. He hates the ‘crash’ after an orgasm and would much prefer to be kept on the edge. I however love rubbing myself against the cage, having him wear a strap on or a mouth dildo gag . Whilst I wouldn’t say that his cage is permanent it is pretty much 24/7 but that is how we both like it these days – well at the moment that is, who knows what the future will hold!
Growth: this is something I worry about.
I have not ever been caged, but I do fantasize about it.
However, I am a grower. Completely relaxed and flaccid, I can be about 1.5-2” in length. Erect, highly stimulated, I reach 6.5-7”. That’s got to be uncomfortable when caged.
All I can suggest is that you try a few cages and see how they suit your body. It will be uncomfortable at first but your body will adapt and learn to keep you at half mast when caged. Overnight may be a problem at first until you grow accustomed to it. Kevin still gets up once a night to pee, that’s the best way to get morning wood to go away when things get uncomfortable down there.
I am the same way DC24. I am about 1.5 inches flaccid and 7.25 hard. I love chastity and once you find the device that fits you well and comfortably, becoming hard in the device does not hurt. Some cages do, you need to experience the different ones out there, but the one that worked best for me with the least amount of effort in hygiene was a metal cage. The shaft is the same length as I am fully flaccid, maybe even a little smaller and fits snuggly. The cage is best because of durability and the ability for your penis to breath and dry out after a shower. No need to remove the cage for cleaning. Also with it being smaller, it’s easier to conceal in public. If you have interest, you can go a long way with experimenting. Have fun!
Thank you so much for such an informative article. I believe more and more women will be demanding their male suitors install a chastity device and hand over the keys to them.
Way back in 2002 I gave my wife to be a CB-2000 male chastity device as a gag gift not knowing they actually worked. I gave it to her because her previous live in boyfriend and husband before him both left her for the other women they were doing.
I wanted her to know I would not do that! I promised her at the time, “I will wear it whenever you want me to.” never realizing or thinking that she would make it all the time!
I wore it for two weeks before we got married and at the wedding. we were too tired after the wedding so she kept me locked. This was an exercise of her authority and power unbeknown to me at the time.
My Wife gave exquisite oral sex, but that all stopped as soon as we were married. I asked a few times, but always got the same answer, “Giving oral is an act of submission and I won’t have you getting confused about who is the boss in our relationship! Within 8 months she had me locked all the time with only once a month releases.
I’ve been locked since 2002 all the time and I’ve adjusted well. Often she does not unlock me for two or three months.
I love her more now than the day we were married.
Incredible writings. After reading this I absolutely want to
Live the chaste lifestyle and introduce it to my wife. I know deep down inside i need it and would benefit. Thanks!
Emma, this is a wonderful blog! Thank you for providing a place with quality knowledge and recommendations for incorporating male chastity into the relationship. Amidst all of the fantasy and kink on the internet it is refreshing to find a site with practical advice and experience. Keeping my guy’s penis under lock and key has been one of the most beneficial additions to our relationship for many of the reasons you mentioned! He is so much more attentive and trust and closeness between us has significantly increased. His orgasms are heavily regulated and mine have multiplied significantly, all while keeping him with a high arousal and attentiveness. I love that this is becoming more common and that you are helping to normalize females controlling the penis in a relationship. Locking his cock really has been one of the most empowering aspects of our relationship, not to mention how much fun it provides!
Thank you Emily-In-Charge! I was doing some upgrades yesterday and I don’t think your registration came through correctly. I think I fixed it but I’m not totally sure. I couldn’t get it to fix this particular comment to show your name and avatar. Same with the other one you did. Sorry
Thanks so much, I’m glad you find it useful. Would you tell us your story in the forum?