back to top
Wednesday, May 14, 2025
Home Blog Page 35

Tender Submission

3
National Pegging Day October 13th

Sometimes a woman just needs to descend to her primal instincts rather than traditionally/societal feminine roles. Sometimes she needs to feel what it is like to fully dominate her mate. To mount her lover, pin his head to bed and just fuck. Her full weight resting against his ass. Her carefully selected strapon buried as deep down into his core as she can. Grinding herself against him, her undeniable focus, to physically dominate and fill him.

She took her time in selecting which strapon she would fuck him with tonight. Would it be the long slender pink one? Would it be the shorter girthy black one? She picks the thicker of the two, wanting him to feel the unmistakable fullness of her toy stretching him and filling him completely. He moans as she taking him to a state of blissful pleasure. His groans driving her desire as her hips press into him. His soft moans of submission spurring her lust, encouraging her to dig his toes into the bed and thrust faster, harder. Every thrust illustrating her will to dominate herself into him and bringing them closer with a physical illustration of dominance.

He can feel the head of her girl-cock hitting him in just the right place. He couldn't help but resist and push away when she first entered him, he now accepts her into him even pushing back into her as he feels more comfortable. More and more with each thrust his moans increase. His pleasure and feelings of submission increase and he feels warmth from the friction of her moving in and out of him. Equally as pleasurable is her body on top of his, immovable, holding him down in blissful acceptance of her dominant role over him. Finally his muscles get tired of supporting his body and the waves of stimulation overcome his body as he collapses on the bed. The feelings of pleasure and discomfort of accepting her inside him overwhelm his senses and he forgets about his family obligations, work, errands, cleaning, cooking. All he feels is her presence, holding his body steady with loving forcefulness.

Her body, still pinning him to the bed does not slow or stop. He can move his body but only barely. His body is hers and she holds him where she wants him. He knows he could tell her to stop but he enjoys allowing her to have her way with his body. She continues thrusting herself in and out of him, his moans become more muffled now as his face is pressed into the pillow.

She takes a break, her legs having grown weary. She tells him to "push back on it" and she waits for him to do the work. He takes a breath and moves his ass back into her, meeting her thighs with his bottom. She says "look at me" and he turns his face, gasping and biting his lip as he looks back toward her with a frustrated but pleasure filled expression. She enjoys watching him do the work on his own, watching him work to accommodate the large dildo within him. She is glad that she selected the one that she did. He is so much more vocal with his moans when he is stretched slightly beyond what he is comfortable with.

His motions slow and she meets him with her thrust, he didn't expect her to push so he grunts and tenses his body as he anticipates her force inside of him. She grasps his sides as she pulls the full lenght of her dildo out of him and thrusts it back inside to the hilt several times. Each withdrawal sends shivers up his spine and he gasps with each of her thrusts back into him. He feels every inch of her sliding into him. With one final hard thrust she buries himself deep inside him, pressing her pelvic bone hard against him. She exhales and relaxes, laying on him with her strapon deep inside him. She rests there, feeling his body pulsating and throbbing. The two of them lay together, enjoying and accepting her dominance. She rests her face against his cheek knowing that he is hers and hers alone. He feels a sense of safety, a sense of satisfaction, knowing that he has provided his body for her pleasure. She withdraws from him, kisses him tenderly on the forehead and he thanks her for loving him.…

Push His Boundaries

2

Life needs to be exciting to keep us interested, we are sexual beings and we need to be challenged sexually just as we do with our relationships. If we don't endure conflict or challenges in our relationships, they will grow stale and boring. We will slowly grow apart from our partner and we will seek challenge and excitement elsewhere.

Pushing your partner's boundaries is exploring with your partner is essential to keeping a ten, twenty or thirty year relationship feeling fresh and new. Before you met him, you had some sexual experiences that framed the things that you found sexually exciting. Using that framework, you established the general sexual ground rules for this relationship. Have you revisited the rules that you framed in your early sexual exploration? If you decided that you didn't like butt stuff back in college, have you revisited it since you've been married? I encourage you to push each other's boundaries to keep having new experiences, together.

How can you push boundaries in a relationship?

  • Watch porn together
  • Read erotic fiction together
  • Kiss a member of the same sex (if you are straight) or opposite sex (if you are gay)
  • Have sex in a public place
  • Visit a strip club
  • Use a vibrator with your partner
  • Have your partner use a vibrator on you
  • Explore your partner's anus with your fingers... or mouth.
  • Have anal sex with her... or him
  • Have a threesome with someone of the same sex
  • Have a threesome with someone of the opposite sex
  • Watch an orgy
  • Have an orgy
  • Dominate your partner
  • Spank your partner
  • Use restraints or chastity with your partner
  • Use a blindfold
  • Wear sexy lingerie or a costume
  • Try a love swing
  • Try a strap on

You get the idea. Try something different! If you do the same exact thing every time, your sexual relationship is bound to get stale. If you are both open to something new, it will keep things fresh and exciting. Rule number one is communicate. I can't stress this enough. Talk about your fantasies, talk about your concerns. Talk about your desires. If something isn't working for either of you stop and try something else.

Have you ever considered a quiz site like mojoupgrade or bdsmtest? These sites are good conversation starters but no replacement for good old fashioned communication.…

Sexuality: Can You Create a Fetish?

13
create a fetish

Can you create a fetish in your guy thorough the use of operant conditioning? Operant conditioning is a type of learning where behavior is controlled by consequences. You can read more about operant conditioning here.

The question with this blog isn't about operant conditioning but rather if you can create a sexual fetish by conditioning him to sexualize something that is non-sexual. Don't bother skipping to the bottom because spoiler alert, I don't have an answer.

Sexual fetishes can be very normal or can be very weird. It would be fair to say that a guy with a butt fetish if fairly normal and a guy with a foot fetish would be slightly less normal although not completely abnormal. For the purpose of this article, the definition of "normal" is defined by the acceptibility within society. Personally, I could care less if you have an earlobe or sneeze fetish.

The medical community describes a fetish as a paraphilia:

Wait, sexual perversion? Perverts? What are all of these words? Actually the medical definition of perversion isn't what you might think:

So we've established that paraphelia, fetish and sexual perversion all pretty much mean the same thing. The question now is, how do I create one and what should I create? I love Kevin and obviously he is going to be my subject for this, what should I create? Perhaps I ask him to bury his nose in my belly button when I allow him to release his seed. Maybe I only allow him to release while his head is covered in a blanket, or while yelling insults at him (kidding of course, we keep things very positive). …

How Long Should He Take?

0
How long does it take men to cum
Young woman holding a clock showing nearly 12

Kevin and I love experimenting. Nothing new for us. We like to learn as much as we can about this whole sexuality level and then tweak it to our tastes. Not being a man, I find male sexuality to be extremely interesting and fascinating. A piece of your body that grows when you are sexually aroused? Imagine if our boobs did that, I can only imagine - so awkward.

If you've read many of my other blogs, you probably know that Kevin and I separate sex and ejaculation so the time for him to cum is largely immaterial but we do have to stop having sex and take a breather when he gets too worked up.

The scientific institutions, Pornhub & AskMen.com did a survey of 4,168 men and found some interesting information. See the infographic below for the results of that poll.

I am only partially joking when I call Pornhub a scientific institution, they have some absolutely fascinating information about sexuality using data at their fingertips. Checkout Pornhub insights. They've written articles on everything from foot fetishes to alien porn and they do a great job of keeping things relevant to current events. They haven't done anything on Male Chastity yet but Pornhub, if you are listening, we would love to see it! …

Chastity Statistics

3

In my previous blog, I posted a quiz which used a few questions to determine if male chastity might be right for your relationship. Approximately 89% of respondents were determined to be a good fit for male chastity. Remember that my methods are highly unscientific and the fact that this quiz is on a site about chastity and orgasm denial will already skew the results.

In any case, based on the first 5000 responses (yes, it seems to have gone viral) I decided to share the data with you all.

This seems to line up with the web stats that I had published in the forum previously. Looks to be mostly middle aged guys. The survey doesn't ask the partner's age.

I think I may have screwed this one up. If we have men who are presently locked, they likely don't masturbate at all. I should have said "if you are not currently practicing orgasm denial" or "if he was not locked". In any case, here are the results, it looks like the vast majority of the fellas masturbate more than once per week.…

[Quiz] Is Chastity Right For You?

8

Orgasm control and enforced chastity is a huge benefit for many couples. Please take this quiz to see if it might be right for you and your relationship.

Just How Popular Is Male Chastity & Orgasm Denial

11
chastity stats

While I don't have any way to disprove or authenticate the statistic in the header image for this blog which states "An estimated one in every 6 straight men have tried a male chastity device", I will say that the trend is growing. One in six straight men sounds high to me but I don't know. In the absence of clear data, all I can draw from is personal experience. While it does seem like most have heard of chastity, few have tried it until talking to me. Hah!

Sexual tease and denial has been part of relationships and our human sexual behavior forever. Since the middle ages, chastity belts have been used to manage the sexuality of others. Some reports say that these devices were fake and others say that they were commonplace especially among royalty.

Regardless of whether medieval chastity was real or fake, male chastity has been making a resurgence due to new devices that allow effective management. The ever-growing popularity due to mainstream appearances, the ability to purchase devices anonymously and inexpensively online has made male chastity devices much more accessible.

While we don't have any way to know actual sales numbers, we can see that these devices rank above more mainstream sex toys in popularity rankings on major sites such as Amazon. How are chastity devices outselling many traditional dildos and vibrators you ask? The appeal of chastity is strong of both men and women. Many women want to lock their man because of the many psychological benefits. Within a matter of weeks, her man will become more devoted and focused than years of counseling an therapy.

Why would a man want this? Many men feel enslaved to their penis and their sex drive. Some men are frustrated that at the level of focus and energy that goes into thinking about the opposite sex. Many men, especially men who with important and demanding jobs like to hand over control at the end of their day.

Google trends shows that searches for male chastity devices and information have consistently grown year over year. As the mainstream appeal increases, these devices will shed their taboo and hopefully begin to mold more and more relationships.…

Relationship At Play: Being best friends is the key to relationship happiness

2

Happy Father's Day to all you dads out there. Just a quick blog to remind us to be playful all throughout the year. The ability to joke and play is no reflection on your masculinity, your femininity, your abilities as a mother or as a father. Play is play and it makes life fun.

Society tends to associate play with children and not adults. As adults, we are expected to be productive, work and even be serious when doing leisure activities. I challenge each and every one of you to try not to take things so seriously. Try to laugh and have fun with each other every moment that you can. Be best friends, be best friends with benefits, be the relationship and the passionate affair. If you are the grass and the greener grass on the other side of the fence, nobody will stray and nobody will yearn for more.

Just because you've gotten older, it doesn't mean that you should lose the childlike way of approaching situations. I don't care if you are 15 or 85, you still need to enjoy your time together. Taking life and each other too seriously is a recipe for stagnation. Always push each other for new experiences both sexually and in life. Challenge each other and push the boundaries of comfort. Being best friends can become comfortable, make the two of you complacent and have a way of taking the spice out of the relationship but that can be counteracted with a strong sense of play and excitement.

Aside from the two of you, surround yourself with playful people that enjoy making situations light and playful rather than dark and mundane. Pick your friends wisely because happiness and attitude is contagious.

So many times we control sex in such a deliberate and prescriptive way. Tease each other and be playful in all aspects. Keep the mood light and don't be afraid to offend or stretch the other's boundaries. If you communicate with each other and respect the other person if they decide that something is too much, you are bound to have nothing but fun experiences together.

Teasing sex is fun sex. Even if sex isn't an option, teasing is the easiest way that the two of you can keep the spark alive. Grab his cock and look into his eyes for a moment to totally take him out of a situation. …

Feeling Frisky

9
feeling frisky

The honor system has been working well for us and I don't believe that Kevin has done anything behind my back but I miss the cage so it is making an appearance in our lives once again. No reason, I was responding to a comment from a user named Joe20 yesterday and realized how much I missed it.

The honor system is great but he just doesn't act the same when he is in control of his locking. I think he feels a level of helplessness, dependence, futility, weakness, incapability and maybe even inadequacy when he under my key. He normally gets out on Sundays but I think we are going to skip this week. He isn't a father so there's no need for him to get any special treatment for Father's Day.

I want to be waited on, I want to be massaged, I wanted to have my guy at my beck and call. For some reason he gets complacent with the honor system. Maybe this reminder will help or perhaps you just don't get the same result with the honor system.

Just a short update today, nothing too exciting, I just decided to up the ante on our relationship game for a few days.

Female Authority: How Can It Fit Into My Relationship?

14
female authority

As our society's definition of authority evolves, women are the new men.

As you take a moment to think about that, it might actually have some truth to it. I know women have been the primary household authority for years. My mother was, my grandmother was and probably generations before that. As traditional gender roles have gone, the man goes to work and does his job and the woman is the ruler of her household.

It seems that this view of gender roles is changing and evolving. Men need authority and structure in their lives and that seems to be progressing out of the household and into the world. Female breadwinners are becoming more and more common and the male role can be flexible. In a previous forum comment someone suggested that we needed to look at both genders multi-dimensionally because the world is changing and so are our roles. As we progress as a society, roles are no longer tied to gender.

While the blog is titled female authority, I am certainly not advocating that female is the authority in all things. I am suggesting that females CAN be the authority in relationships and in the workplace. I find myself craving a more 50/50 split with orgasm control as the great equalizer.

Think about your current or past relationships:

  • Who drives the car?
  • Who manages the finances?
  • Who asks whom when making major purchases?
  • Who works? If both work, who earns more money or has more workplace prestige?
  • Who cooks? Who cleans?
  • Which of you is courting the other? Do you find yourself asking him out on dates or is he asking you out on dates together?
  • Who typically provides emotional support?
  • Who is more dominant? Who is more submissive?
  • Who initiates sex?
  • Who dictates when sex happens? Who is more sexually frustrated?
  • Do you transition sexual roles in your relationship?
  • …

From His Perspective Part 2

17
guy thinking of cage

Part two of some user-requested questions from our forum. For the previous blog, you can check out From His Perspective.

I didn't expect to be doing another Q&A session so soon but I guess you all liked my answers the first time around. Thank you for the feedback, I appreciate the words of kindness. I am not sure quite what I expected.

You are currently doing one week at a time on the honor system. How long do you think you can go before you are concerned about betraying Emma's trust?

I really don't know but there are certainly times even at the seven-day schedule where there are temptations. I would be very concerned about anything longer than two weeks. I do really appreciate her trust in me and having the opportunity to show her my reverence for her.

How would Emma punish you if you were to take matters into your own hands?

We haven't discussed it but I expect that the cage would become a very big part of our lives for quite some time. I don't want to let her down, I am really committing myself to the honor system and to Em.…

From His Perspective

11

Hi everyone. You've been hearing about my sex life from Em for some time. I have to admit that I am a bit insecure writing this blog since you all know the inner workings of my relationship. I feel as if I need to make excuses for enjoying the framework that Emma has set around sex in our relationship but the honest truth is that I enjoy it. Our sex life is great. Sex in previous relationships has resulted in resentment, distrust, confusion and even infidelity. In this relationship, sex is free from all of that. Sex today brings me confidence, consistency, and intimacy. Despite the sexual aspect being mostly out of my control, Em regards us are equals. From an outside point of view we probably exert very few signs of our unique relationship. The giveaway might be Em's key necklace.

Em did catch me off guard when she introduced her methods to me but she has been nothing but upfront about sexual expectations since day one and I really appreciate that. I have a healthy sexual appetite, I like to have sex a few times a week and we are generally matched in that regard. Prior to Em, sex always ended up with an orgasm for me. I hadn't heard of or considered any other way, really. The first few times we had sex, everything seemed normal, similar to my expectations. The first time that we had sex and she abruptly ended once she was finished, I thought she was joking. How could she make such a wonderful dinner but deny me dessert? With her help, I soon realized that dessert isn't something that you need every day. When she allows me dessert in moderation, I enjoy it much more. When she rations my dessert, I savor dinner more. Enough of the food metaphor, it is making me hungry.

So you might wonder how it feels to be under lock and key. I like it. I like knowing that she has my best interest at heart and always knows and adjusts for my needs. Don't get me wrong, orgasms feel wonderful but so does her attention and teasing. Her loving hand touching and reassuring me. Knowing that she is caring for me makes me want to do things for her. It makes me want to make sure that she knows that I appreciate her leadership and direction. Emma called me out on a few things that I was doing such as the sex barter system which I had never heard of.

Previous to meeting Em I did masturbate at least once a day, it was more of a routine than a necessity. I'd masturbate when I woke up if I wasn't in a rush. Then maybe again in the evening to help me sleep. I always thought that was pretty normal and never gave it much thought. It was there, might as well play with it. I had never considered the self-sabotage that I was doing and the damage that I was doing to previous relationships.

A list of questions was posted on the forum and I'll be replying to those questions below in a Q&A format. If you have more, I'd be happy to answer, just post them there and Em can give me a list.

What effects have you seen in yourself and your relationship?…

An Introduction to Sexual Humiliation

5

Humiliation is a varied thing amongst men. Some guys really enjoy it. Some guys like it in small, teasing doses. Some guys crave it when locked up as an assertion of their submissiveness in the relationship. Depending on your guy it can be great fun or it can be offensive and hurtful. We should start by determining the differences between humiliation and embarrassment. Embarrassment is brought upon by ourselves, humiliation is brought upon by others. To humiliate someone is to exert power over them and that is likely when I enjoy doing it in small doses.

My ex-boyfriend had a smaller than average penis and he wanted to constantly be reminded about his size. I of course indulged his fantasy and would refer to it as "tiny" or "acorn" or other not-so-nice things. He did go to a therapist at one point, not specifically about his penis but it did come up. The therapist told him that he was eroticizing what had a been a very negative feeling for him. His mind made his small penis erotic to him as a coping mechanism.

A cuckold is the husband of an adulterous wife. In evolutionary biology, the term is also applied to males who are unwittingly investing parental effort in offspring that are not genetically their own. Cuckolding is a sexual fetish that seems to be growing in popularity.

From the research I can see, cuckolding fetishes come from the man sexualizing something that he fears. If he fears being cheated upon, his mind sexualizes cheating as a coping mechanism and the sexualized fear becomes the fetish and thus takes away its power to hurt him.

For other men, the cuckolding fetish is a progressive form of compersion where the man wants the woman to feel as much pleasure as she can. He shares in her pleasure of taking another lover because he genuinely wants to see her sexual fulfillment. For these guys, it is about the woman being unashamed of what she wants and how she wants it.

Other men such as the boss from our previous blog do this sort of thing out of control. These guys feel like they are in charge of everything. At the end of the day, they simply don't want to make any decisions. Having power in the bedroom reminds them of work which is neither relaxing nor comforting. These guys want to let go of work which can mean control, power and even respect. With the loss of control comes the loss of responsibility which can be a bit of a burden to turn off.…

Relationships: Communication in a female led partnership

2
communication

Communication about sex is essential but most couples simply don't talk about it. More evolved couples will come up with a game such as turning on a red light in the bedroom when one of the partners wants sex that evening. Why is sex something that we need to hide behind? My mom told me that you must get a man's physical attention to get his emotional attention and I think she is right. She was more traditional and certainly didn't mean managing sexual release but as an extension of her wisdom, it has helped me enormously. Thanks, Mom.

If a man doesn't have his physical needs met or restrained, he focuses on his next release rather than the needs of his woman. The woman on the other hand needs his attention before she is going to want to provide sexual attention to him. It is almost like we are designed to fail. If the woman controls his release with guidelines and routine, she will allow him to relax the portion of his brain that is constantly seeking resolution for his sexual needs. If he knows that she is handling that portion of his needs, he can then relax. Once his mind is relaxed, he can once again focus on HER needs.

When he is retaining, he has a better level of communication due to his hormonal levels, you will get a man who is much more capable of explaining his emotions just like we can. He will also find more resolution through conversation.

When we lead our men, they are no longer forced to read between the lines, they are able to take the guesswork out of situations. He will find your directness refreshing and create a more loving environment for both.

When he is retaining, you have his full awareness! He is aware of your needs, his needs and has a reasonable expectation of when his needs will be met.

One thing that I do when having a conversation is to touch his body somewhere and hold his penis when I can. When I hold his penis, I don't hold it tightly or even do anything with it. I simply do it as a reassurance and to help keep his focus on me. I got in the habit of this while he was wearing a cage since the additional touch kept his focus on me as a reminder that I control his sexual release. …

Female Led Partnership: Does it work?

7
does it really work

We've been trying a mixed bag of things in our relationship and I've been diligently documenting things for you all to enjoy. Some things have worked and others haven't worked as well. Some things are more around the fetish side of things and others are essential to maintaining your feminine power in the relationship. Aside from keeping the balance in your favor, it is important to keep your relationship feeling new and exciting so those feelings of newness never go away.

Let me start with what hasn't worked for us. Negative reinforcement seems to be something that hasn't given us many positive results. That's not to say that he shouldn't receive punishment when things don't go by the plan. Negative reinforcement tends to create a rift between us that can take a while to repair. I also find it difficult to take it seriously when spanking him but that's just me. I do flip back into some negative reinforcement things from time to time but I usually just do it to be kinky.

Now let's get on to what does work. Positive reinforcement has worked wonders. When I give him a reward, I explain what elements contributed to him receiving that reward. That reward could be an orgasm, cuddling, a blowjob any number of things that I know bring him pleasure. If he doesn't make the right decisions, I let him know that those things won't be happening and I try to be as specific as possible so there is never a guessing game.

You might be asking about chastity devices since that wasn't in either the positive or negative section. Well, I think the better question is around orgasm control. I feel like the chastity cage is a fantastic way to solve two major problems. The first is his masturbation and release habit. Most men have been masturbating and ejaculating on a daily basis for years before they come into your life. Breaking that habit will take some time and it usually isn't fair to ask them to do it on their own. I think it is also fair to say that your man has ejaculated at the end of nearly every sexual encounter that he has ever had. His body will be confused when release doesn't happen after having sex. The cage is a fantastic tool to enable his body to get accustomed to this change in his sexual arousal cycle.

…

What is Compersion?

8
compersion

The dictionary defines compersion as:

You can think of compersion as the opposite of envy. The envious response to the above would be feeling envy rather than joy when watching the toddler. Compersion is an interesting thing when applied to lovemaking. For example, my Kevin feels compersion when watching me have an orgasm even when he is not allowed one of his own.

Many would argue that jealousy is the opposite of compersion but I don't think so. Envy is wanting what someone else has and jealousy is being upset about losing what you have. These two emotions are quite complicated but they are similar at their most basic level and all of them stem from insecurity.

I feel that compersion is one of the markers of true love. If I feel compersion toward you, I am quite literally valuing your feelings over my own. If I am feeling envious of you, I am wishing to take the feelings from you and make them my own. Envy in a relationship is toxic and will poison even the best relationship in short order.

Lots of things can trigger jealousy and envy but watch for these specific red flags:

  • Possessiveness - You are not his property.
  • Low Self-Esteem - You need a guy who knows who he is and is comfortable in his own skin.
  • Control Issues - I should probably look in the mirror on this one but I won't. I know that I wouldn't be compatible with a man who has control issues.
  • Vulnerability - Communication is key here, we all feel vulnerable sometimes and it is essential to communicate those feelings with your partner.
  • …

Sexual Awakening & Religion

3
sexually awakened

I've been thinking about what makes a woman sexually awake and how men respond to her behavior since it differs from societal norms. This isn't going to be an especially deep blog, I am just writing down some thoughts from a long car trip last week. A friend of mine graduated and I drove back to Colorado with her. She was raised in a very religious household and her parents enforced strict gender roles. The man was the provider for the family and the woman was to be the homemaker and tend to the children.

College wasn't off limits in her household and if a woman went to college, it was usually to find a smart man that could better provide for their family. Women were allowed to have opinions and were allowed to contribute their opinions freely but if the man's opinion differed, he was expected to be the final decision in all things.

All of the tools that I advocate in this blog require and often empower a woman to be different that what society expects. I find that the more a woman contributes to a household, the more motivated the man will be. She will spend less time convincing him and their teamwork will allow their household to thrive. I encourage women to use their sexual energy to help manage the household and her partner's hormones. Sexual energy should be cultivated and not repressed as in the religious household example above. The more sexually free you are, the more sexually charged and aligned your man will be.

Sexual energy can be used in many different ways, many of which I discuss in some of the other articles on this blog. I advocate using orgasm control to ensure that a man stays in a carefully curated level of hormone induced sexual thirst. While this seems complicated, it is actually quite empowering and confidence boosting for the woman. Monogamy and marriage are constructs that society forced upon us and they can be great but we should allow ourselves to experience everything. Only after experiencing everything can we choose what fits each of our uniquely different personalities.

Were you raised in a religious household? Do you have strong opinions about how your upbringing molded the sexual person that you are today? Tell us about it!

The Training Wheels Are Off

13
training wheels

We've been using the cage as a relationship tool for well over a year now. We should have celebrated an anniversary for it. ?? What would you call it, cage day? Check out my previous blog when do the training wheels come off for some background or just keep reading and I'll try and fill you in.

What has our biggest improvement been? What is the absolute number one thing that the cage has brought to our relationship? Communication. For some reason this little hunk-o-plastic that my fella wears allows him to express himself and his feelings. We don't do it for some fetish reason, we play into the fetishes sometimes to enjoy the feelings that it gives both of us. Sexual play is fun, teasing is essential but we both know it is just play. Our relationship is strong and the foundation of communication shows up when the cage is present is uncanny.

Does he like the cage? No, he doesn't love the cage. He has been wearing it off and on for over a year, our lockup periods are about a week at a time. I tease him mercilessly during that time. He is allowed to ejaculate with permission at the end of those lockup periods. Part of his disdain for the cage is probably related to the fact that I do still use it as a punishment sometimes. Previously, I've written that the cage should just be a way of life and not used to counteract bad behavior but I'm guilty of it and as such, he groans when I tell him that it is time for lockup. I've also rewarded him with weeks of time cage-free when his behavior and communication are good. Have I sabotaged the cage? Unfortunately, I have.

So where do we go from here? Well, the cage has done an excellent job of getting him accustomed to waiting for permission to cum. It has eliminated the masturbation habit and problem that plagued our early relationship. A year has really rewired his arousal to require my approval. He doesn't fear me but he respects my wishes. He respects my guidance around the sexual side of our relationship. He knows that my hormones don't overwhelm my judgment as they can with him.

For the time being, we are going to roll without the cage. All of the rules are still in place, everything is effectively the same. We are just going to give it another try. In my previous blog, and in the forum I went through a list of pros and cons and there were far more pros to using the cage than cons but I trust Kevin and I think this will be yet another adventure together. If he betrays my trust, we will, of course, need to go back to the cage. He knows this and has committed himself to our plan together.

So how does this change the direction of the blog? How does life change without lockup periods? The good news is, there is no change to anything in our lives. He is still locked up in that he simply isn't allowed to touch and I trust him not to do so. He knows that if he betrays my trust, he is to tell me immediately and we will figure out how to address it. I feel like we started off strong, went all the way to corporal punishment and spanking. Which we both enjoyed for a spell but it didn't add to the relationship, it was more fetish play and role reversal. We didn't find it to be a tool that would effectively help us manage our relationship. Now we've come all the way back to managing his ejaculations with trust. Would it have been possible without a year's worth of cage training? Absolutely not. The cage has proven invaluable and will continue to sit inside my nightstand for the next time that we need to use it. …

Successful Relationships are 50/50

3

In a successful relationship, decisions are shared, money is shared and both parties have an equal say in the relationship and the direction of the couple. So how can this be a thing when you've literally got him under lock and key? Why would you want this when you can exert total control over your household?

I'll argue that the traditional male/female relationship is not really equal parts due to his subconscious hidden agenda. When he isn't locked, relationship decisions are 33% her needs, 33% his needs, 34% his penis's needs. Removing his penis from the decision-making process is essential to ensure that the couple is on a level playing field with each other. By holding the key, she is ensuring that he is making decisions with his mind and nothing else. Compromise in a relationship is essential because no two humans will ever be in complete agreement. It will always be necessary for one partner to submit to the other in certain decisions.

Let's go back to the basics of your female led relationship. There are several levels of female-led relationships, for the sake of this article lets number them as 1-4.

  1. Female leads in certain ways and certain minor aspects of the relationship.
  2. The female takes the lead in everyday life and the household but clear boundaries are set in which aspects of the relationship are under her control. This may or may not spill over into some slight kinky bedroom behaviors.
  3. Not only does the female take the lead but she takes a controlling interest in the relationship and all decision making. If the couple cannot come to a resolution, the final say is always hers. The female takes over most male roles and the male takes roles that are commonly associated with the female. This type of female-led relationship almost always spills over into the bedroom into spanking, chastity, pegging and perhaps some light humiliation, teasing or other activities.
  4. The female at this level will exert total and complete control over her man and treats him as a servant in all aspects of their relationship. The male's opinions are typically not considered when making family decisions. This includes household decisions, finances, chores and any other components of the relationship including sex. This level of female-led relationship most commonly includes some sort of mild to extreme cuckolding and humiliation.

I believe that levels one through three are respectful of both parties and are sustainable for long term relationships. With level four, the woman will quickly tire of being on her pedestal and the male will either give up on pleasing her or become so meek that he is essentially nonexistent in the relationship.

As I've stated in previous articles, I do believe that male submission has very little to do with their strength and character as a man. To me, it would be difficult to respect a man in a level 4 type of relationship simply because I do value him and everything that he brings. …

The Life and Times of Vegas Ang – Part 2

2

This is part 2 of Vegas Ang’s Story, a forum member who joined earlier this month. We had two phone interviews which I recorded and took furious notes. Great story, please feel free to reply to her thread in the introductions forum to thank her for sharing. If you haven't read part one, you should start there.

A few weeks after ordering a cage, a package arrived at the door. Addressed to me with an international China Post label on it, George set on our kitchen counter. I arrived home and he pointed to the box which was addressed to me. Neither of us regularly receive packages from China so we both knew exactly what was in the nondescript box. I quickly opened the box and pulled out the nice purple velvet pouch and shiny stainless steel cage.

I assembled and disassembled it a few times and I could see George eyeing it intently. I could tell that he was every bit as curious about it as I was. The cage was new and interesting, exciting new experiences don't happen too much at our age. I noticed his interest and handed him the cage. He toyed with it a bit before I motioned to his crotch area and told him to try it on. George turned and started walking to the restroom I grabbed his wrist as he turned and said, "no way, I want to see you do it". He bent over and started fumbling with it.

For those unfamiliar, the cages have a part that goes around the testicles and then another part that goes over the penis. Those parts come together and are met with a padlock. George fumbled with trying to fit the pieces on his pieces until he started to get erect and had to take a break. We laughed a bit, this wasn't easy! On attempt two, George got the ring on and pushed the stainless steel cage over himself and finally was able to hold the pieces together. It was pretty impressive for a twenty dollar piece of hardware. I handed him the lock, and he looped it through the cage allowing him to remove his hands and admire it too. We looked at each other and laughed, both of us knowing exactly what the other was thinking. What on earth are we doing?

George has his penis in the cage, the lock was dangling but not shut on his shiny new stainless steel cage. I suggested that he snap it shut, he laughed and said it was fine just the way it was. He pulled his pants over the cage to see how it would look with clothes. In doing so, he must have knocked the dangling lock from the cage and the cage crashed onto the tile floor. Again, we laughed and looked at each other. George tried once more, this time he snapped the lock shut although he kept the key tightly in his possession.

Once more, George pulled his shorts over his cage and we both commented that it was no wonder we hadn't noticed anything with Rodney. This thing was mostly invisible. I walked over to the couch and George followed, but with a metallic clanking noise when he walked toward me. Again, we laughed and looked at each other. I removed an elastic hair tie from my hair and handed it to George, who put it around his lock. The hair tie seemed to hold it tight enough that the metal clanking sound from the lock went away. We were to meet some friends for lunch, I asked George to wear it to lunch, he politely declined and we put it away for the day.…

New Post Notifications Yes Please No